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I have Anderson on and he just said that 70% of mothers today say that their lives are more stressful than their mothers.

Do you agree? I agree - I think it is stressful in a very different way than it was for my mother.

 
booklover545

Asked by booklover545 at 2:05 PM on Jul. 19, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 38 (104,755 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • In general, it might be true because things are harder in general these days. For example, it's so much more difficult to survive on on income than it used to be, people work more hours on average, everything is crazy expensive, and our homes are worth half what we paid.
    For me though, it's not true. My parents had a miserable marriage that ended when I was 5 years old. Then my mother was single, then married a loser. All of her choices were bad ones, and that's on her, but her life was not a happy one.
    I have been a stay at home mom from the beginning, I have a happy marriage, my husband is easy going, funny, and very helpful with the house and kids. He's made it to every karate practice, both the kids' and ours. He's loving and supportive, and that makes life easier. We moved to a city we like, and if there's something in our lives that don't work, we make the choice to change it. My mother never did that.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 2:24 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • I think kids are catered to a lot more than when I was a kid. I don't think that's such a great thing either
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 2:07 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • I think good parenting takes mindfulness & presence, which can be "work" if you are stressed by various factors. Showing up & giving better than you got can be a stress, because part of being able to be consistently warm, available, & responsive is to have experienced that kind of attuned responsiveness in your own infancy & early childhood. If you were not so fortunate because your parent(s) were stressed, preoccupied, depressed, or had wounds from poor parenting that made it hard for THEM to show up optimally for you, you're at a disadvantage. Meaning, it shaped your neurological development, & it's simply hard to give what you didn't get.
    I think I parent more consciously than my mother did. The areas that were her strengths tend to be "easy" or come naturally for me, but others are a struggle because I am easily triggered (my "buttons" get pushed) in areas she struggled with.
    But, her problems were due to stress!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 3:45 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • I also think that "parenting" is more of a Thing now, an area of focus & significant anxiety. Concern to "do it right," not to "get it wrong." (CM Answers...) That combined with notions of scarcity (not enough to go around; must make sure my kids "get theirs") results in this age of hyper-competition.
    Achievement-oriented individuals (whose personal worth & sense of SELF are tied up in how "well" they do, how successful they are & their achievements) tend to be very intentional about having children, pouring their "all" into the process. Very well-educated & highly successful professional women turn their attention to motherhood, sometimes to the point of becoming SAHMs leaving successful careers, and they rechannel all those energies. The children become their "projects."
    I think the tensions & stress levels aren't necessarily so different, but what absorbs the focus of our culture's anxiety has changed to Parenting.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 4:15 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • I agree! My mother sent us off to my grandma so she can go get drunk so yes my life is 100% harder then what hers was being a "mother'
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:09 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • I tend to agree, women today want it all the kids and a profession and handling those two can be super stressful!
    older

    Answer by older at 2:13 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • I think every generation swears they have it harder than the generation before. But really we're still dealing with the same stressors our mothers did. The only thing that's really changed is how we access media, and how we're expected to coddle our children when they get hurt, don't win, or misbehave. The stress that comes for me is that I refuse to parent like that and I try to stick to the way I was raised as a guideline to how to parent effectively.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 2:14 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • My mom was a SAHM of 3, while I work with 1. But considering the behavior problems of my older bro, I'd definitely said she had a lot more stress.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 2:15 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • I would have to think that I have more stress than my mother. She hid me from my dad and abandoned me before I was a year old. The only time she contacts me is when she wants something. I DO have a half sister that is 4 years younger, but I barely know her.

    I'm a SAHM to two kids, 8 and 5, trying for #3.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:26 PM on Jul. 19, 2012

  • i thinks its about the same.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 2:57 PM on Jul. 19, 2012