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I was excited about being engaged until..............!

So I recently got engaged to my baby's father! We've been together for along time we have 2 little girls and were expecting twins. I was really excited but then thinking about the future kinda brought my happiness down. My s/o has bad credit and I've worked really hard to build mine and keep it at good credit. I pay my bills on time and I don't know how to tell him that I don't want to marry him yet. I heard that if you marry someone with bad credit it turns into your credit. Is this true? Please help!

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Asked by babyangelromero at 11:21 PM on Feb. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,048 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Only if you begin purchasing items together, in both your names. You can have separate credit and it won't hurt you. Just buy cars in one person's name... resist all the salesman hype about putting both your names on there to boost the score or lower the interest. If his is worse than yours it will only hurt.. it will not help. But you can still marry him, if that's all you're worried about. Sure you may have to consider his spending and paying habits... but if you two have two children and two more on the way then it's not like you've been oblivious to his habits. (no meanness intended - JMO)

    Answer by PaceMyself at 11:39 PM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • That's the reason I didn't marry my son's father. He had bad credit... and for good reason (gambling problem among other issues). We split when my son was one and a half, and he works under the table to avoid paying child support.

    Don't know about him turning your credit bad, but he sure could drag it down (just a warning).
    Good luck to you.

    Answer by indigostone at 11:40 PM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • It was the opposite for us, I had bad credit, my husband had decent credit. For the past few years, I've been working on mine, and now it's actually better than his. But for a while, all it really meant was that I couldn't get things in my name, and we couldn't get things together in our names. His credit was still fine. But everything had to be in his name! If you're really concerned about it, I would just tell him what you're thinking. Surely he knows that you've been working hard to build your own credit and you don't want to mess that up. I would just talk to him and see what he says then go from there. Good luck with everything!

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 11:58 PM on Feb. 2, 2009

  • I just have to say will bear the man's children but you won't marry him because he has bad credit? Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds?


    Answer by jacobsmom707 at 12:28 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • NO! the only way it will effect your credit is if you take out a loan together. If you keep your credits seperate then you won't have a problem. So in otherwords if you are going to buy a house anytime soon, make sure it's in your name, until he cleans his up some. That's something you will have to work with him on. BUT.. if you decide to make an investment together, and you continue trying to fix his debt, you make actually help him get better credit faster.. the choices are yours. Just make sure he's working on cleaning up his credit, rather than ignoring it, or having it get worse.. those can be signs of trouble for your future together.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:13 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • jacobsmom707 thank you for your honest response. I know it might sound ridiculous. Our first daughter was an accident and we decided to stay together after she was born. I would have married him years ago and before he started messing up his credit but he wasnt ready for that type of commitment and I couldnt force him now that he is ready and I'm ready I feel like we can. I just heard really bad stories about people having to pay off there s/o's bad credit and bills and how the IRS will come after the both of you and not just the person responsible for the bad credit. I didn't say I wouldnt marry him I'm just not as excited to pay off someone elses credit. He's been some what irrisponsible and he isnt in alot of debt he's just in debt I don't want to pay. Thank You ladies for all your advice and great suggestions! You made me feel better. I'm going to start to plan my wedding!

    Answer by babyangelromero at 1:16 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I totally agree with "Answered at 9:28 PM on Feb. 2, 2009 by: jacobsmom707" !

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 2:29 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • We have went from having no credit when we first got married to good credit ,to so so credit ,and now GREAT credit. 23 years later and I would not trade one of them for his credit or lack there of. I hope you are as happy as we are.

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:56 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • kathyartist2007 I'm glad that your willing to pay off someones bad credit! Your answer wasnt helpful! Please dont respond to my postings if your not going to be helpful. Other moms such as yourself and other wives answered to my post and gave good feedback you didnt give any.

    Answer by babyangelromero at 2:41 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Congrats on your engagement. Try to do some research, Suze Orman is good.

    Answer by Yve538 at 10:43 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

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