How can I stop my 5 year old from calling me bad cursing names?

where is he learning that is it OK to use these words? he must be hearing examples.

Be super consistent with what is allowed and what is not. Role play with him to demonstrate what responses are appropriate. Then tell him he gets nothing unless asked for nicely. And ignore any behavior that is inappropriate. Take all anger out of the situation and remain calm and matter of fact. It will be a tough transition. Also have him be your big helper for all sorts of things and make sure he is getting positive attention and love. Many time kids go for the negative attention when they need more positive attention. GL

....an hour later if he doesn't get what he wants he star to call me all kinds of name again...
that when your apply the same discipline again. Everytime he calls you names enforce the same discipline. Could be once a day or could be every 15 minutes. YOU stay consistent.

Who else has he seen treat you with disrespect? call you names? In some families where there is domestic violence some children will choose to identify with the aggressor rather than the victim. Through identification they adopt the behavior of the aggressor toward those whom they perceive to be the victim or like the victim. If this is the case in your home I urge you to re-think your choices and contact the National Domestic Violence Hot-line. Good luck.

I agree with figuring out what the source of this attitude/language is.

Have your DH sit down & talk to him & tell him he must treat his Mother with respect or else when he gets home HE will punish him.

First thing is to find out where he is getting the words and try to cut off that source.
For me when all ese failed it was time to wash his mouth out with soap. And I do mean wash not just hold.
A dirty mouth needs to be cleaned out.

You biggest problem is that you have somewhere along the line allowed him to think he is in control and that you must stop.

He needs to respect you regardless of where he's getting it. You need to put your foot down. My son hasn't called me bad names, but he was saying inappropriate things to me. At first, I tried to ignore it, but that led to him escalating it. When I'd had enough, I told him in no uncertain terms that I would not tolerate that behavior. They say that you can't work on everything at once, so THAT became the ONLY thing that got him disciplined.

I'd put him in time-out the first 2 times, but then, he'd be in his room with no toys for an hour or afternoon. You could also send him to bed early. Does he get an allowance? My 5 y/o gets $3 a week for doing his chores. He gets to spend that money on toys (he saves up for big ones sometimes), candy, cokes, etc. This has made a huge difference in his behavior & gives him some control. I'd do this a couple of weeks, then dock him 50 cents for every bad name. He'll get it quick.

He's testing you and pushing your buttons. Ignore him. He wants your attention. If you ignore what he is saying he will get angry enough to stop. When he stops you have to praise him. He will see that he gets your attention when he doesn't use bad language and it will eventually go away.

Just remember that kids hear a lot in school and on the bus from other kids. By 4th grade you won't believe what is being said on school buses.

You don't need him to fear or be afraid of you. Behavioral change motivated by fear (of a person, or of consequences) is very superficial & temporary change, and the underlying reasons driving the behavior have not been addressed at all.
He may fear your husband, and so will restrain certain behaviors in his presence as a result of this fear, but obviously this does not "fix" anything long-term as he still has the feelings to "act out" in this way--probably even more of them.
I suggest that finding a constructive way to respond to the situation in the moment will help considerably. It gives you something to do (i.e., so you're not just "ignoring" it, which both leaves your child unsupported AND ramps up your resentment & sense of helplessness) that does not escalate the behavior by focusing on intimidating it away, but instead serves to address the underlying causes.
I think responding to each instance with reflective