Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What should we do?

Right now neither my husband nor I have any family living anywhere near us. His family is 500 miles away and mine is 3000 miles away! Now that we have a son, we plan on moving closer to one of our families so our son doesn't grow up "alone". But the problem is, there's lots of drama and BS in both our families and I don't want my son growing up around the problems that we did. So my question is, do you think it would be better that my son grows up with lots of family, but with also lots of drama and depression, or is it better to raise him somewhere else where he only gets to see family every so often but live a potentially happier (just lonlier) life?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Feb. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Who says he has to be lonely? Most of my friends are more like family then my actual biological family. Never underestimate the power of having a few really good friends. Your boy doesn't need the drama, it's not healthy.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 12:12 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • id stay away from the drama

    Answer by josalin at 12:15 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Ugh I would just stay away from the drama. I'm half in the situation right now and I'm itching to move because of my families drama, and move to where hubby's family is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Raise him without the drama! That is so damaging! I agree with Rebecca, who says his "family" has to be biological relatives? Our church family is closer to us than most of our biologicals. They are the ones who advise us, are there when we need something, and uphold us in their prayers. Our kids feel very loved and secure because we make sure they are surrounded by healthy, well grounded people who adore them, and most of them do not share our DNA!

    Answer by Mishelly728 at 12:18 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Go where the love is. You can be near family and stay out of the drama. You've just got to set the boundaries. If you think you will only get involved in it, stay away.

    Answer by jacobsmom707 at 12:23 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Make family where you are. My husband was in the military so we have never lived near our families. We have made wonderful friends that are as close as our family. Just because they are family does not mean that you have to put up with the drama or subject your children to it.


    Answer by Magpie75 at 12:31 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • he doesn't have to live a lonely life.. when he gets older he will make friends, and maybe even have a brother or sister to play with.. I would stay where you are. Family can be nice, in small portions if you are in that type of situation. Beside, it makes for cheaper and funner family vacations.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:09 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • It all boils down to QUALITY not QUANTITY!

    It's better to have a few stable and supportive friends and family around you, than to have to deal with UNNECESSARY drama! My family is 300+ miles away...and I don't miss them in the least! My children do not know my side of the family, and trust me they aren't missing anything!

    My husband's family, on the other hand, is like the 70's TV show "The Walton's"...LOL! So, even though they're a little over the top with the family thing and constant get-togethers, their love, support, and morals and values are sound, their drama is minimal, and all in all, it's a positive experience that my children relish in!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:15 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.