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So bit of back story. When SO was about 18 he thought he got a girl pregnant when they had just started dating. The girl gave birth to a son and, for several months SO loved and cared for the boy. After some time though SO's mother mentioned that the baby had not seemed fully developed (very experienced in babies this woman I tell ya) and it seemed that he may have been premature. Once this thought reached the ears of the girl's mother, she demanded a DNA test, paid for it, and even escorted her daughter and SO to the testing. Turns out that the girl had gotten pregnant with her previous boyfriend whom she had broken up with just days before going out with SO. Typical teenagers rushed into sex and voila! baby mix up. The girl (and the girl's mother) whisked her son away with her before you could blink and SO never saw the boy again.
Anywho a few months ago during one of our very long talks SO admitted that for the first several months of his daughters life he felt kind of dazed and disbelieving of the situation. He said he knew it was stupid and there was no way it could be anyone else's child, but the old feelings of uncertainty and fear kept poking at him. She resembles SO and several members of his family, acts like him, and even shares a few of his allergies to medications. He was very determined to make me understand that, though he was having these feelings of fear, he in no way doubted me. He knew it was unfounded and a little irrational but it was there just the same. It was then that I offered, assuming his new job worked out and we started making decent money, that we should get the test done. Just to make him feel better, you know? I told him that I knew he wasn't saying he doubted me and I knew 100% there was no way anyone else could be the father, but if it in some way brought peace to some part of his soul that experience had hurt, then I had no problem getting him that piece of paper.
So then, the thing is, do I tell my mother I am getting a DNA test? She never liked SO. He has a mood disorder and was having an ill-timed breakdown as we took a trip for him to meet her. They rubbed the wrong way and my mom has really stuck to that impression. She says I am constantly defending him to her but she is constantly attacking him. She may insist that I am really getting it done because it could be someone else's baby and start singing the hallelujah chorus. More likely she will preach to anyone who will listen that SO is a suspicious, heartless, distrustful devil even though I was the one that brought up getting the test done. Should I tell her at all? If so how should I do it?Answer Question
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