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Does he care i'm really pregnant ?

I have a medical condition,where how the blood flows can be restricted and massage can help with this.
Well he feels being i'm just pregnant and he has a sore back he takes priority since he works more than me.
He said i have time,well i lost a baby from this and so we know what needs to be done.
He said he never realized how much work is required to become a family.
His physical therapist said,massage will not help him but he wants to go since he finds this massage therapist cute,she is good at her job but that is horrible to say to his worried wife that wants the best for her and baby.
What would you do to make him understand it's not a selfish need ,my doctor wrote the need on a medical pad to help but nothing...maybe i'm overreacting?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on Feb. 3, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (7)
  • You're not over reacting. If you need this for medical reasons can't YOU get a massage therapist?
    Also have him go to your doctors check up with you. Now is the time to show that he will be there for you and baby..it doesn't get any easier from here.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:29 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Being massage although,doctor referred is not covered under our insurance or a prenatal package.
    The doctor put it in writing since he was unable to make it to this appointment.
    However,if he can pay for himself than why not me and our baby and when i tell him pay for a package which is cheaper than per visit since you get discounts he gets upset.
    He needs to do something i'm just against a wall as to what and will it be best for the situation for me and baby and our marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Yeah I don't know how you'll get through to him. But if I'd lost a baby before for this reason, he would NOT be the one seeing the therapist. I'm sorry you're going through this. Do you have a friend that is willing to spend some time messaging you? I know I would do it if my best friend asked me to. Even a mom, sister, brother...?
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:51 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I assume youre not working due to your medical conditions? do you have money you can just go ahead and use on a therapist?
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:52 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I do work,i have a job where i can work from home,which is nice and one of the reasons he feels i do not work as much as him.
    Also, i do not make as much as him so i feel anything beyond normal bills we should do together but after this,i'm reconsidering..
    I told him he can massage me to save but he says his hands hurt but not enough to want to be intimate all the time which the only way he will touch me is if it lead to his needs being filled too.
    He acts like he is neglected and the baby and me wants everything so if he is to do anymore what does he get out of it, which is wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Yeah when the baby comes it really WILL be just about you and the baby for awhile. If your money doesn't go toward an essential bill, I would use it to pay for therapy. If he wants it paid he can cut his therapy out or down. Consider the health of you and your baby the most essential bill you're responsible for.
    But seriously he's got to change his ways because ask any husband, it won't get better. He has to make some major adjustments in his thinking and selfishness.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 3:09 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • He is selfish. Do what you need to do.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 6:03 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

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