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Did your relationship with your inlaws become strained after baby?

After my son was born my inlaws started to really get on my nerves. My FIL told me a week after my son was born that I could not hold him, it was his turn when I asked my MIL for him back. When I tried to explain we just wanted a pic he got very belligerent with me. He always takes my child and leaves the room with him. He ignores me when I tell him we don't let my child do something. We got a 65" TV and I asked him not to let my son face the TV and he ignored me 3 times. Then a month later when I was playing with my child and the TV was on in the background he told me that my son was watching TV 5 times when all he did was glance at it for a moment. Husband tried to talk to him and he tattled to my MIL who tattled to my BIL who wouldn't talk to my hubby for a month. His parents kept telling him he had to make up with his brother and when they finally did his FIL said to me wasn't that sad when they weren't talking!!!

 
hilary1122

Asked by hilary1122 at 11:54 AM on Feb. 3, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • My in-laws have never liked me so when my first baby was born I expected them to act different toward me, I though maybe better, but no, it got worse. They would not listen to my rules and my fil even told me my breastfeeding was getting in the way of his spending time with her, because he couldn't feed her and I wouldn't leave her at their house with them. It unfortunetly has not gotten any better, she is 4 now. I see them once a week for dinner and thats it unless its something special. My dh doesn't even see them very often. Good luck and remember to keep speaking up, it is the only way to get your point across even if they don't want to hear it.
    BusyBeesmom

    Answer by BusyBeesmom at 12:06 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Wow...luckily your DH is on your side. If it continues I would unfortunately stay away from them. I know that would be hard, but at the same time you need to be concerned with your child as your first priority. I would flip out if I asked for my kid back and was told no. I'm anxious that this will happen with my in-laws when I deliver, but am hoping for the best.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • busybeesmom

    has this hurt your relationship with your hubby at all? I am so worried it is going to drive a wedge between us! My in laws feel they should see my child every week and that seems a bit excessive to me. I think there is nothing wrong with every couple weeks. It kinda creeps me out that my FIL is that into my child. It just doesn't seem normal. I am just so worried that I am going to explode one day!!!
    hilary1122

    Answer by hilary1122 at 12:13 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Yes it strained but not tot he extent yours has.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 1:07 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Its your child! Do as you please! You didnt lay down and make a baby with them, Did you? It pisses me off when in laws act like that. I dealt with it from my own parents not my in laws and I flat out told them to back off!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • It seems to me like you in-laws are very controlling. Using the baby to put you under their thumbs is one way they think they can keep DH and you under their control. As for the brothers not speaking, I would've just said that they are both adults, and however they chose to interact is their own business. Do not be afraid to speak up on any issues regarding your child! Since you tried to be mature and your DH tried to speak with your MIL (but being diplomatic obviously did not work) I would just feel free to say whatever you want regarding the situation at hand. And do not let them guilt trip you about how much time they spend with the baby, its not thiers! its yours! and if they could respect your parenting rules then they would get to see the kid more. Its their own fault for being difficult!
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 2:26 PM on Feb. 3, 2009