I need to vent... im very upset about this and having a hard time understanding why.
My mother was not a part of my life. She also was not a part of my half sisters either. I found my mother my sophmore year in highschool, so that i could know her. We had a hard time getting along. My father passed away when i was 10 years old from a car accident. I loved my dad so much, he was everything to me. But she clearly was not a fan of him seeing how they divorced when i was 2 years old, and the fact that she could never say anything nice about him. This caused a lot of problems between her and I.
My half sister also found my mothers number and got in contact with her. Except their relationship is VERY different. My half sisters father would beat her and treat her like crap. So my mother and her had something in common...they did not like that man. So they would talk together about their experiences with them and share negative comments between one another with no feelings hurt. But with me its very different. I loved my dad so when my mother talks bad about him, it would hurt me.
Well the reason why i explained this is because i feel it has a LOT to do with the reason she told me to "Fuck off" but still talks to my sister. My mother lives 3 hours from where i am. She NEVER comes this way to see me or my kids. She has come to my half sisters daughters birthday parties, come to visit, has stopped by just to say hi when they are in town, all kinds of stuff. I never made a big deal about it because i didnt really care, as i just thought this was because of bad luck with things happening suddenly (on her part) on our scheduled visits. My mom always was very sensitive to things i would say. If i would tell her a sentence like this "I think the reason my grandpa took advantage of me is because all the other girls in our family had a mom and dad that they could tell, but i didnt because i just had him and my grandma, i feel thats why he chose me" She would go off on me saying i was trying to make her "pay" for not being there all my life. But really what i was saying had nothing to do with the fact that she wasnt there for me all the years before. It wasnt about her. I was talking about my past with my grandpa...not my past with her. But that is just an example about how sensitive she was with me. When i had said that, she freaked out on me.
So..... this is the reason i got a "Fuck you" from my mother
On her facebook status she had put a few lyrics to a song that i didnt know until i met her. This song was special to me because it was the first time i had spent time with her and the first time i had heard that song and i remember her telling me how much she loved it and the lyrics fit her life so well and i enjoyed that moment with her. Everytime after that day that i would hear that song i would think of her and how much fun we had together getting to know eachother. So i left a comment on her page that said something almost exactly like this... "Never fails...every time i hear this song i think of the first time i met you my sophmore year in highschool. I remember you telling me how much you loved the song, so everytime i hear it i think of you and it makes me smile :-)" Shortly after leaving that comment, i laid down for bed when about 2 mins later i hear my phone blowing up. I look and she is freaking out on me. Saying i was a bitch and saying lies on her page. Let me remind you, earlier that day i had been texting her about how i had been really overwhelmed cuz i was 8 months pregnant and i was having a really hard time trying to get mentally prepared for the baby and we were kind of having a heart to heart (another 'special' moment if you will) and she was still completely convinced that the reason i left this comment on her facebook was to piss her off. She said i am toxic. So instead of texting her, i called her to ask her what the hell was going on cuz i was completely confused. She told me to not play stupid that i knew what my intentions were. I told her i really didnt understand why she was so upset so she then proceeded to tell me i was stupid if i didnt know. I then told her as she was screaming at me on the phone that she needed to call me when she could talk cuz i wasnt going to hang on the phone while she is screaming. So i then called her later...she still was screaming, said i was a stupid fucking bitch then said "Fuck off!" and hung up on me.
She is so convinced im this terrible person. I know i cant change that, and i know its useless to talk to her cuz this is not the first or second time she has told me to fuck off. After she did that i just bawled. i had never cried over her, ever till then. Im usually ok until i hear that she went to visit my half sister and it hurts me and i dont understand why. I know she doesnt deserve the time of day, i know i should forget her. But i cant. It was easier when i never knew her. I wish i never met her. I guess i just dont feel good enough
Answer by Kword at 12:45 AM on Jul. 27, 2012
Answer by GivingTreeMommy at 12:48 AM on Jul. 27, 2012
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Answer by figaro8895 at 10:04 AM on Jul. 27, 2012
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