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DH participation

My DH doesn't feel like he's been a very big contributor to our pregnancy. This is our first, and he's gone 6 days at a time for work, then only home for 3. He says he's tired of coming home to a surprise...

Surprise I'm bigger. Surprise baby's bigger. Surprise baby's moving more.

How can I help him feel more included? He calls every day, and we talk about any events, etc.. but it's not the same as him being home. He's feeling more and more pressured to quit his job, but he has our sole income, and our insurance benefits rely on that job.

Is there anything I can do to make him feel more secure?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Feb. 3, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (5)
  • Oh, and we only have 11 weeks left to baby's arrival...

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I would just reassure him that he is doing enough evne just by wanting to do more and be there for you. My fiancee was there for me but he was never really exciting. I mean he never really wanted to feel the baby move or anything like that. I would have loved for my fiancee to be more like yours. So just let him know that he is doing enough already.

    Answer by Bamzakarat at 2:12 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Always thank him and do things to show appreciation for him doing his job. My husband absolutely HATES his job, but that is where my insurance comes from too. I always just try to make things special for him by having dinner ready and texting him telling him how wonderful he is and things like that. and also just keep him posted about your baby.

    Answer by bluelady27 at 2:40 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • my babys father isnt involved so its hard for me to answer, but if i think about it, send him texts saying when the baby kicks, or send pics of your belly. when he is home for those 3 days, pay special attention to you, him, and baby time. let him feel the baby kick, and talk to the baby. hope it helps... again im not in your situation, but thats how i would handle the situation.

    Answer by walkthisway522 at 3:52 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Let him know that you really appreciate how hard he works to take care of you and the little one growing in your belly and that what he is doing is so important for your health also. He is enabling you to be able to stay at home and not have to work during your pregnancy which is rough towards the end. That in itself is a BIG responsibility to have to take care of every financial obligation himself. I recommend keeping a journal of every day so that he can read it when he is home

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

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