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what to do about my hubby??

My dh has worked 2 jobs for the entire 5 years of our marriage. He works 70-80hrs a week, nights(10-6:30 1st job, 7am-11am 2nd job 7 days). He finally got his schedule so he has sunday nite and mon nite off. not that it matters cause his sleeps all day anyway when he is not trying to help with our 2 yr old. In 5 years it has been far and few between that i just get his attention to talk and enjoy his company, let alone anything else. He says he he is to tired to give me attention. Yet he has plenty of energy to plan stuff with and for and hang out with friends, family, and even his home care client(7-11). Just yesterday he was all excited about wanting to find a way to take his home care client out boating on the lake this summer. And would I look up Handicap boat rental or excursions for him. I can even get him to take valetines off without a struggle. I have always done things for him, leaving little notes everywhere .


Asked by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Feb. 3, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think you should continue with the counseling and take heed to everything that he is telling you. don't think because he's not treating you right that it's YOU...there's nothing wrong with you. It's HIM...

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 2:26 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • try this, it worked for me:

    Answer by JuJu_Bean at 2:14 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • He never or rarely returns my affection or attention. I constantly tell him how thankful I am that for all he does and that I love him. II leave notes and do little things for him.I always make sure his clothes are clean, that he gets some good home cooked meals everyday, and I try to have his his clothes ready in the bathroom everyday so he can just get a shower and get to sleep. we have just started counseling. Is it something I am doing or is he just not into me?

    Answer by hypersquirrel at 2:20 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • He is taking you for granted. Do the same to him what he is doing to you.

    Try this. Do not make time for him. Make it so you are to busy to do any thing for him.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:21 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • That sucks!

    Try to disappear see if he notices then. I hope things get better for you guys.

    When you do talk to him have a very long talk this is not the way to live it is not fair for you or the kids. He works alot of hours because he wants to but if it is going to be like this tell him to drop one of the jobs. GLsimple smile


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 2:26 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Are you sure that home-cooked meals and fresh clean clothes are what he needs to feel loved? Everyone feels and expresses love in different ways. Maybe he needs something else to feel loved by you (in exchange for these things, not in addition to them). Keep up with the counseling, I'm guessing they'll come to all of this. Maybe all the things you are doing are communicating duty and not love? Just a thought.

    Answer by mrsfitz05 at 2:38 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • mrsfitz05, I have done more than just cook and clean for him. I have constantly left notes and planned romantic sexy nights. I have wrote notes on the bathroom mirror saying I love you thanks for working so hard and good morning. I once cut out little hearts and wrotes messages on them I made a trail with them from the door up the stairs to our bedroom . I have never received in retuen affection or intimacy from him or very rarely. I have for the 5 years of my marrige always made sure to plan around his schedule or not make plans until I have talked to him first. Everyday I wait excited until he is up for the day to get to talk to him. I am lucky if I get him to myself for 5 mins. We share a bed only 2 nights a week. that is actually a record because until november of 2008 he was only having 2 DAYS OFF A MONTH , working night shifts.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

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