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2 Bumps

Offshoot from a different post??

Your single. You meet a nice man. You start dating him.
How long will you date him before you think something is wrong with him. As in, you think you are dating a gay guy?

Don't you think he should have told you right away he was gay and this is just a friendship?

I would probably be knowing the first couple of days. When he didn't try to have sex with me. I have never met a guy that didn't try to in the first week of dating.


Asked by louise2 at 11:40 AM on Jul. 29, 2012 in Relationships

Level 42 (141,175 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • hmm..good question.

    Answer by jossstone1969 at 5:20 PM on Jul. 29, 2012

  • I just read a really interesting essay for school not to long ago that addressed the pseudo-masculinity men are encouraged to display (i.e. being constantly interested in &/or willing to have sex with any available woman, so as not to be mistaken for gay) & your post reminds me of it. Not bringing up sex immediately would not be a "clue" to me but, if you are talking about someone in the closet, they are trying NOT to be found out so, it can & does take people completely by surprise sometimes.

    But, a relationship or a friendship should be a distinction that is made in any relationship where it may not be clear, of course.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 12:41 PM on Jul. 29, 2012

  • Well, some people are in the closet & denying their sexuality, not only to others but, to themselves as well. Those people are not just going to say "hey, I'm gay".

    Or the 2nd scenario could be that it was just a friendship but, the girl/woman developed feelings & wanted more from it. And, then was told "hey, I'm gay" when she tried to pursue him.

    Answer by 3libras at 11:49 AM on Jul. 29, 2012

  • I really don't know. 3libras has a very valid point. I know a man that was married, he and his wife have a child and one day he confessed to his wife that he thinks he is a woman. A divorce, a move to a new city, wardrobe change and sex change later he is now she. You just never really know.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:04 PM on Jul. 29, 2012

  • There are many guys who wouldn't try to get a woman in bed during the first couple of days of dating.

    Answer by meooma at 1:06 PM on Jul. 29, 2012

  • There are also bi-sexual men but may want an emotional relationship with a woman. It's all just confusing out there anymore so I agree that it should be discussed up front where the relationship is going. At my age I wouldn't care anymore. I'm too tired for sex and if the guy was gay I know I'd be dressed well and have the best make up!

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:37 PM on Jul. 29, 2012

  • My husband didn't even kiss me on our first two dates, didn't try to. He says he was just "trying to be a gentleman" and he was. I think he was also making sure I felt the same way before he started anything. But I didn't think he was gay!

    Answer by missanc at 11:45 AM on Jul. 29, 2012

  • MY DH heard about this sort of thing on TV. he asked me what I would do if he did that to me, come out of the closet.(we have been married 23 years). I told him first, we would not have sex any more, second you are not getting rid of me that quickly. Spent 23 years in this relationship. It will take a while to financially move on. i told him he wont divorce me tell I am financially ready.


    Comment by louise2 (original poster) at 1:58 PM on Jul. 29, 2012