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Ok, what would you ladies do?

My in-laws are a PITA. They're from NY and I live in MD. They come down whenever they want (without notice) and stay for days. Yesterday, I had a message on my answering machine at 2pm (My husband and I work), and I quote "It's 2:00pm, we're in the car and on our way, we'll see you around 6:30." And who knows how long they're going to stay...
Anyways, my DD is 2 months old and I have her on a schedule. I pay for daycare, and they threw a fit because I'm taking her to daycare due to the fact they wanted to keep her. I want her to keep that schedule (my DH doesn't help me with my DD). So only I suffer.
My DH won't tell them to leave, and I'm on the verge of telling them to leave or else I will.
What would you all do? Does this make me seem crazy because I feel like it....

Answer Question
 
Chloesmom1126

Asked by Chloesmom1126 at 6:22 PM on Feb. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,269 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Speak up to them. Its not like they are going to do anything to you! Your a big girl right. And tell you DH that if something isnt done then you and your DD are leaving till they leave. Thats what I would do. You shouldnt have to take crap from someone in your own house! I know I wouldnt
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Maybe for one day she could stay with her grandparents. Not right now, but a week or so after they have left, say to them that they are welcome, of course, but it is best if they let you know when they are coming in case you have made other plans, so that they don't make the trip and find you not at home.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:35 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I went through the same thing! It came to a head when my mil showed up at my house with her daughter, her friend and her friends son, and she's like "hi! we need a place to stay for a couple of days!" Normally I might have been gracious but I was 9 months pregnant, me and the house were a mess and i already started supper and had to improvise because they hadnt ate yet. Then my SO and I left the next day and got home late at night, I was soo ready for bed and she had put her daughter to bed in MY bed!

    Ok now that i got that off my chest! You'll just have to sit them down and explain your reasons for wanting to keep your daughter on a schedule. And while you appreciate them wanting to help with the baby tell them you already paid for the daycare so you want to use it. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • In your in-laws defense, they probably just want to spend time with your DD and get to know her. I would not kick them out, but I would set down some ground rules.. You don't want to tell them they can't be apart of your DD's life, that would be cruel for both DD and her grandparents, but let them know when they visit you need a weeks notice, so you can make the appropriate changes, and whatever else that you want them to know if off limits.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 7:06 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • MY MOTHER IN LAW WAS HORRIBLE WHEN I HAD MY SON GAGE, SHE TRIED TO TELL ME HOW TO BE A MOTHER, WHEN TO FEED AND CHANGE MY SON..OMG I COULD GO ON. I CONFRONTED HER AND SHE BACKED OFF. NOW WE ARE ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY CLOSE AND SHE DOESNT BOTHER ME OR TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY SON. I CUT MY SONS HAIR AND SHE ASKED CHAD AND I WHY?? MY HUSBAND SAID CAUSE HE IS OUR SON AND WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT TO HIM, AND YOU SHOULD OF HAD MORE KIDS AND RAISE THEM HOW YOU WANT. SHE SHUT UP THEN.
    TSSN88

    Answer by TSSN88 at 7:08 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • i say let them have her instead of taking her to day care. it's hard though if you have to pay for that time when you don't use them but i think schedules should be bent from time to time.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 7:12 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Are you not letting them have access to her out of control or because you have a good reason? MIL's can be awful. I'd speak up and if your SO won't do it, you have to. This will only get worse unless you control it. It's your life and your family, so you get to say how it plays out.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 8:07 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • No, it has nothing to do with me not letting them see her. I told them if they wanted to stay the weekend, they could watch her and take her out but I have a schedule I want to keep her on. But, both my MIL & FIL are awful. My daughters name is Chloe, and they keep called her Cleo, and it's not a nickname, they really think her name is Cleo. People ask what their grandchilds name is, and they literally say "Cleo Amber"
    But this showing up unexpectly has got to stop. I confronted them last night and told them how I felt, and my MIL says "well, we gave you a 5 hour notice", there's no compromising with this woman. I said "Ellie, you gave me a 5 hour notice while RJ and I were at work, that doesn't count." She told me this was her son's house and she'll do as she pleases...OMFG and my DH just sat there, I'm from the south and believe in respect BUT I NEVER in my entire life wanted to deck someone so bad, but bit my tongue!
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 9:26 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

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