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Do you look down on teen moms?

This is a general question. I want everyone to make there answer anonymous. Im a very young teen mom. But generally speaking, what is your honest opinion on girls who have babies when they are lets say 14-17? Do you shake your head and think something negative when you see a teen mom here on CM..? Just wondering.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Feb. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (20)
  • I look down upon the obviously irresponsible ones. The ones that don't get jobs and depend on their parents to raise the baby.

    But the ones that are responsible and do what they have to do...nothing wrong with them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I think they must not be very responsible, how will they act as a mother? Not that they can't love their child but they're just children themselves. It seems they'll have a long road ahead of them, hopefully they can figure out how to give their baby what it needs in life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I don't because I was a teen mom. Things happen. I look down on and shake my heads at teen moms who refused to give their child up for adoption and then is letting their mom, boyfriends mom, sister, what have you ,raise the child while they party. I look at this way. You made an adult decision to have a sex and an adult consequence happened. Now deal with it like an adult. I did. I realize that teen moms need help. Lord knows I had help. I admire the teen moms that are taking care of things, dealing with responsibility and taking care of their babies. I know how hard it is. I look at the teen moms on hear and I think that they're on here trying to get advice from experienced mothers so they can be better mothers. It also shows that they are trying to surround themselves with other mothers and like minded people.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I feel bad for them and their baby. If a mother is 14 to 17 years old, in most cases that means she still lives at home with her parents or a family member and is incapable of supporting herself, let alone a baby. I think teenagers need to enjoy their teen years! Go out and have fun, make friends and ENJOY the fact that you have no responsibilities. If you choose to have sex during your teen years, then please please use a condom!
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 7:24 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • 14-15 - way too young. 16+ depends on the mom. I usually feel bad for the teen... expecially the younger they are... because they are still a child themselves, much too young to have a baby. But I only think bad of them if they aren't a good parent. Trying to be a "teen" still when they should have left that life behind them when they became pregnant. I have met some GREAT teen parents, very mature, well educated in parenting and put their child before themselves. But I would say most of the teen mom's I have met aren't good parents. They tend to be immature, lazy about parenting and uneducated. (I work in Pediatrics and postpartum so I see a fair number of teen parents and children of teen parents)
    I get upset no matter the age of the teen when they KEEP having children as teens. I had a classmate that had her first in 9th grade and second in 11th- you can't care for 2 children at that age! The grandparents do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Nope. I never have looked down on a teen mother. I do have to wonder about a 14 year old getting pregnant... but I haven't really thought negative things. The time I do judge them, is when they make poor choices for their children such as leaving their children with her parents so she can party, etc... or she keeps having kids and lives off welfare but since that isn't atypical I don't use it to stereotype all teen moms. I was technically a teen mom, at 19, and knows what it feels like to be judged based on age alone.

    I can't answer anon like you asked though, because I never do it out of principle.
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 7:56 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • depends on how mature and responsible the mother is.....sex is an adult decision, and comes with adult consequences. i think it must be harder on a teen mother because of the position in life that must be sacrificed in order to properly care for and raise the child/children. i think as far as "shaking my head" on CM is held for the ladies that use all caps and piss poor grammar and spelling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Well, I feel bad for them knowing how hard the road is ahead and that it tends to put your life on hold for a long time. You must get educated while raising this kid. My Dad is an OB and delivered several teens which kind of broke his heart being a family man, he also knew the work and maturity that it takes. I'm a grownup and it's still very hard. BUT it's totally possible and when you're older I think it will be worth it because you'll be young and the work will be behind you. Teens just have to make sure to keep up with educating themselves to pay for themselves and their child and just to be independent and not fall into that trap of marrying the first guy that comes along which usually ends in divorce. Stay strong and be well, it's gonna be okay no matter what we say. Hold your little head high; you have a life inside of you that will change and enrich you forever!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I was 17 when I had my son I didn't live with my mom. My bf and I got our own place and we both got a job. It is not a hard road. To me its easy being a teen mom. No im 20 I DO NOT look down on them. And ppl who do are just uptight!!!!!
    pinkanfgrl

    Answer by pinkanfgrl at 8:46 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Quite honestly, I feel bad that their poor choices have drastically changed the lives that they could have had. And I can't stand the ones that won't get off their asses and be responsible parents. I had my first at twenty and at the time I was married, but even now I wish I had waited. I wasn't going to have any kids til this year. Now I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. I can't imagine having a child at 14. That was when I first had sex, but I was so not ready to be responsible and I can only pray my daughter will be smarter than me. For those 14-17 year olds who choose to have children, they are delusional. Having kids is HARD. Very very very hard. Even for those who were "destined" to be moms. It's even harder when you are too young to get a job, can't go to school so you are trying to get a GED. And even harder when you decide that you aren't destined to be a server at McDonalds or a clerk at a grocery store.
    peppermintmocha

    Answer by peppermintmocha at 8:46 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

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