Should I let this go? Red flag!

My boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. We been together for almost a year. He has an ex he was with for 9 years. I caught them talking a few times, he claims it was innocent.

Today I stepped my foot down, and asked for the truth. He finally confessed that on the beginning of this year, a part of him wasn't over her, and he missed the times they had. But I had helped him get over her. I changed him. He says he is Completly over her now, and that he loves me, wants to be with me and only me.

Should I just let this guy be?, move on?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Aug. 2, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (21)

Beginning of this year like Jan or like March. Eh, doesn't matter, I say give him 1 more chance. If he does it again, out the door he goes.

Answer by keisha613 at 10:57 PM on Aug. 2, 2012
Credits: 26838 Level 26 Relationships Minor

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Are you 100% sure that he was telling you the truth & not what he thought you wanted to hear?

Answer by 3libras at 10:58 PM on Aug. 2, 2012
Credits: 367478 Level 49 Relationships Degree

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Proceed with caution. You can't change a person. They can only change themselves. If things start to go south, he may blame you for it.

Answer by anng.atlanta at 10:59 PM on Aug. 2, 2012
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Well. He's lied and said he been over her for about 2 years. Today is the first time he confessed.

Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:59 PM on Aug. 2, 2012
my dh still talks about his longtime love. no biggie.

Answer by dullscissors at 11:02 PM on Aug. 2, 2012
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I feel like this one is completely up to you, unfortunately. You really need to examine your relationship and decide whether or not you trust him. If you don't trust him then the relationship is never going to work. You are probably always going to feel like he's hiding something from your or lying to you about something. That is such a bad feeling and it can make a relationship miserable. Is this the only issue in your relationship? If it really bothers you that they talk and you have expressed your feelings about it he should stop talking to this other girl. If they have a child together its completely different but if there isn't a child involved he needs to move on and commit to you if he's telling you he's over her and wants you. Just take some time and really think about it and trust your heart.

Answer by brittcw87 at 11:03 PM on Aug. 2, 2012
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If you really, truly believe all they did was talk (like no chance he slept with her) & you can accept that he had (& may always partially have) strong feelings for her; then proceed with caution.

For me it boils down to how good is this relationship & how well does he treat you. If it's not worth it, cut your losses but, forgiveness can do a lot of good., if he's worth your trust If that makes sense, I'm tired, lol.

Answer by BubbaLuva at 11:10 PM on Aug. 2, 2012
Credits: 11163 Level 21 Relationships 101

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If I have to proceed with caution, then why he with him?

Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:15 PM on Aug. 2, 2012
Because *thinking* you can handle lingering feelings he may have for his ex & *actually* handling it are two very different things. That's why I say be cautious even if you think he is being honest, & you can trust him.

Answer by BubbaLuva at 11:43 PM on Aug. 2, 2012
Credits: 11163 Level 21 Relationships 101

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I'd be cautious only because he lied. However, give him another chance. But try not to be paranoid and obsessive about it either.

Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:34 PM on Aug. 3, 2012
Credits: 5266 Level 18 Relationships Major

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