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Will i ever feel better about the lost of both my children? I can never shake this feeling. I cant even sleep at night when they are on my mind. Will i ever feel better about it? PLEASE help me!

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Asked by Meeka512 at 11:14 PM on Feb. 3, 2009 in Health

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I'm not sure. But I just wanted to say sorry for your loss!

    Answer by pagirl71 at 11:20 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • May I ask what happened? I can't say that I have ever been in this situation. I couldn't imagain what it would be like losing a child. I lost my mother when I was nine, and I still get upset once in a while, but death is something that takes time to get over. But the loss of a child idk. It would be extreemly hard. But I would think with time That the pain would ease a bit. Maybe talk to a doctor.

    Answer by ashtonjames at 11:21 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I'm very sorry for your loss... from clicking on your profile I am assuming these losses were miscarriages. I lost my first child at 11 weeks and I can still remember how absolutely devastated I felt... it was like all my hopes and plans and dreams turned to dust and I had nothing left. To be a mother and yet not to have a child is so amazingly painful. The thing that helped me the most was to connect with other moms who had also had a loss... I still have friends to this day who I met due to my m/c. The friends I made were truly the 'silver lining' of the loss. Yes, you will feel better, but if you are at all like me you will never forget. I no longer think of my loss every day- the fact that I did go on to have living children (as you are very likely to do as well!) has eased a lot of the pain. But I still think of the child I lost and wonder who she would have been. I will always love her, I will never forget.

    Answer by Freela at 11:22 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • my mom never got over the loss of my brother he was 4 months 3 days old so i dont know i think it depends on how strong you are im sorry to hear about your loss

    Answer by wendy232425 at 11:22 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I lost my son in 2006. He was born 8 weeks early and his little body wasnt ready for it. It was a lot of complications with his birth and he passed a few days later. My other child i miscarried at 10 weeks pregnant this past december.
    I can say im blessed to have such a beautiful little girl named Kayla but the memory of my other children i still hold real dear to my heart.

    Answer by Meeka512 at 11:50 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I am truly sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage right before I concieved my son. And I want another child soon but having another loss is my biggest fear. I know your babies are in heaven with god and they are happy and proud of you for being strong. I hope you feel better soon.

    Answer by zachysmommy04 at 11:56 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I lost my middle son shortly after birth due to congenital heart condition. You never get over it. In time it gets better. I'm not sure it gets just learn how to deal with it better. My son would have been 20 this May. This may sound strange..but I'm grateful he died when he did. If he had to die young when he went was the best for me. My Mom lost my brother when he was 29. She will never be over it, It never get better for her. She has a lifetime of remember when he would do this... and such. You would think those memories would be comforting..but I can tell you for her ..they are simply haunting. Find a good support group. Without the support I had I'm not sure I could ever have made it past the first 6 months.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:03 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I think one of the best ways to look at it would be to ask yourself if Kayla would have been born had it not been for you other two loses. Look at how much you love her and thank God that he allowed you to have her. He has plans for everyone. He had plans for your other babies. He took them to live with him so that he could give you a healthy baby. Just remember that the other two babies are healthy in heaven and they are Kayla's angels and they will protect her.

    Answer by Tricia19 at 12:26 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I'm so sorry. I've never lost a child and couldn't imagine losing one. A good friend of mine lost twins shortly after birth. She misses them and years later still sleeps with a big stuffed animal that her boys had at the hospital with them. She would probably tell you that the hurt is always there but stings just a little less as each year goes on. She'd probably also tell you that the hurt she feels isn't always a bad thing now. It reminds her of her two precious ones and how her heart will hold them forever.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:38 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • You will feel better about it over time. My son was born sleeping Dec 13th 1994. The doctors worked on him for 20 mins but the oxygen deprivation going through the birth canal was too much for him. He was my first child and I carried him for 42 weeks.

    The first year was very tough as were important days like Mothers Day as I didn't have any other children at the time.

    Eventually in 2003 I had another son and a daughter in 2005. They definately helped with the pain.

    You have had 2 losses in a relatively short period of time. Try to enjoy your little girl. If you can't sleep, try to write your thoughts in a journal. I used to write poetry when I couldn't sleep. Or if I had built up anger I would listen to the song I played at the funeral and make myself cry and just let go.

    My thoughts are with you.

    Answer by AussieMum2 at 1:19 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

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