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My Boyfriend is..


My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months now, but have known each other for a year and a half and dated once before. It didn't work out because he had another girlfriend at homeHe continuously lied to me last year,we had an abusive relationship(both drank excessively).We didnt speak over the summer. I thought I loved him, never got over him, but excpeted he wasnt going to ever be with me. When we went back to school after summer, he started talking to me again and we eventually had sex. I convinced myself we would never be more than friends. His now ex girlfriend emails and calls me telling me things he told her and how they had sex over thanksgiving break. he tells me shes making it all up bc she is jealous and bc i am having his baby. He has told me that his whole outlook on life has changed since i became pregnant and he wants to have a fam with me. it's unbelievably hard for me believe him and not her. any advice

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Feb. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • eh this is a hard one. On one had you should trust him but you said it your self the relationship before has been rocky. But then what does she have to lose by lying to you. I mean this is something your gonna have to sit down and think about. Give him the benefit of the doubt first. if his story starts to change then i would start second guessing him. But for your sake currently i would ask the girl to leave you be. You have enough to deal with having a child you don't need added drama and i would express that to your Boyfriend too.
    YamahaGoddess

    Answer by YamahaGoddess at 11:47 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • I agree. See how things go and keep your options open.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • Ask yourself, if the situation were reversed, would you rather that he trust what you say...or one of your old boyfriends? You have to decide who is more important - him or her?
    FlyMom07

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 11:56 PM on Feb. 3, 2009

  • well first I would tell her to just stop calling/e-mailing you.. I can't tell you if what she is saying is true or not. If you start noticing other signs of him cheating, then you can worry more about it... but you sound young, and other girls that are young do stupid things like that to try to get their ways. I learned that the hard way, lol. I had a girl tell me she was having my bf's baby... and blah blah, (yeah well bf was in florida visiting his brother in the hospital who was in critical condition, for a month and a half, the time she got prego, plus when I was in the hospital a month later, she was in there as well, she was prego and had clamidia(sp?) and was prego, nurses were talking about her in front of my room, kinda funny since I was in there for kidney stones and they obviously tested me for STD's and I was clean, and then her baby came out white, and my bf is black). But she told everyone in town it was his..
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:08 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • kid... so I went nine months having to hear from all these people in town she told these lies too.. at least until the baby came out, then everyone apologized to me and bf about everything because they knew she lied.
    op.. not saying you are immature, but there are a lot of girls that age that are, that you have to be weary of. lol. sorry wanted to clarify that.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:10 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Rule of life: Don't go BACK OUT with a cheater if you knew he was a cheater after the first time you dated.
    If he cheated on her, don't be surprised if he does the same to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Good luck with this one! Sorry, but I'm not seeing a "together forever" or "happily ever after" scenario. You both sound young and immature. Having a baby at this stage of your life isn't going to change who you are at heart. You mentioned cheating, drinking excessively, and lots of "he said, she said."

    There are MANY issues to work out, and NOW you're bringing an innocent baby into the mix? Great.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • You can't always trust the ex. Its very possible that most of his past behavior stemmed from the alcohol and bad judgement. But, he could still be that kind of guy. You could make yourself crazy trying to guess which one it is. IMO if he is being supportive of you and the pregnancy and you aren't worried about his current behavior, then go for it. Lots of guys see fatherhood as the wake up call they needed in order to become better men. This is a classic move to get you all paranoid and push him away in order for her to get him back. Talk is cheap....if he ACTS like he wants to be with you and be a dad, then try and trust him and build a family. The worst case scenario is that you will find out hes still a cheat/liar (which will hurt) but at least you will know you gave him a chance and can finally move on afterwards.
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 3:27 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

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