Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Another MIL question...seriously thought, I'm losing my peice of mind and myself and I need some opinions please. Sorry but long!

Since I have met my SO, his parents have messed my life up so bad that I cant take it, I cant get over it, I have tried for 2 years to try and let everything go, but I cant.I hurt inside, I used to cry a lot but now its turning into pure hatred I get sick to my stomach.I have so much hate for them,what they have said and done to me and what they have made me appear to be to the rest of his family.His family and friends started asking his mom why she didnt like me and she came up with some BS and said that I burnt a hole in her carpet, and I left dishes allover their house, and we had our "differences". I actually got the courage to ask her over one day and resolve everything because I wanted them to be in my DDs life, and I asked her what these "differences" were, and she ignored me, during the whole 2 hours of me pouring my heart and soul out and crying to her, she said a whole maybe 2 sentences and one was (CONT.)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Feb. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • "Im glad everything has happened the way it has..." I was shocked my jaw dropped and I was done. I have never been mean to her, I have never said anything to her to hurt her feelings. But she has said plenty to hurt mine. When I moved back to be with my SO, I was looking for a job and after 2 weeks she told me I wasnt good enough to have a regular job, and burger king was hiring...I HAVE A COLLEGE EDUCATION! I grew up in a well to off family, and she is the def. of white trash. Shes loud, obnoxious smokes 3 packs a day, cooks everything from a box, her house is gross, shes about 90lbs gets in her 28 y/o sons face and tries to fight him. After I had my DD, she brought over a box of cereal and told me to start feeding her cereal at 2 weeks old! I said ok how about not...and she got an attitude and said that she had been giving her kids cereal ever since the day they came home from the hosp. so they'd sleep all night. (CONT.)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Ok, Im getting off track here, they tell their family and friends that I stole their son from them, and that Im keeping him from them and now Im keeping their grandchild away from them too. So everyone hates me. I dont keep them away, I am hurt over the things that they have said to me, and I am tired of defending myself to his friends and family...I am so tired of it. My SO wants nothing to do with them, but they call him and say things like " what are you going to do about her" and "so you are going to leave us for her and ruin our family". My SO has cussed them out and told him that if they cant treat me right then he wants nothing to do with them, but they dont listen and they yell right back and they keep breaking my SO down till he gives into them. They are very controlling people and if things dont go their way they get pissed and throw tantrums. Now we havent seen or talked to them in 2 weeks...and Im getting that sick
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • feeling in my stomach because I know they are going to be calling soon. Everytime they call they get my SO to break and give into their every request. If they want to see my DD at 2 o clock, my SO doesnt even ask me, he just says OK mom...How can my SO be so scared of his parents like this? Its so unhealthy to me, I always had a fear of my parents, like I was going to get into trouble, but they have made him feel like he is a worthless peice of crap, and now they are doing it to me...they have belittled me to the point where I hate myself, and I hate myself even more for caring what they think. Especially since they are NOBODIES. I want to pull my hair out, I want to punch things, and this is not me, like I said IM LOSING MYSELF, I look in the mirror and I dont know who I am anymore...Im christian, and I have always been taught to forgive and let God do the judging. Do I need to completely rid them of my life?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I have a similar situation with my MIL. I am ready to move to keep them out of our lives. I just keep telling my hubby over and over that I'm sorry that they don't like me and I have tried every way to please his family...there is just NO pleasing them. I really feel like there is nothing that you can do. Just make sure that you keep your family together and screw the inlaws and the rest of the family..they will only bring you down. Try to be the bigger person always and move away. Good luck :o)
    KaceesMom

    Answer by KaceesMom at 12:27 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Follow your husband's lead. He knows that she's crap, and he VALUES you so much that he's absolutely on your side here.

    Don't cheapen what he's doing by trying to "make up" with this crazy bitch. Seriously, you can't reason with someone who's illogical and nasty.

    Enjoy the peaceful existance with your husband and your children and the family who stands by you and leave this stuff out of your life. Afterall, life's hard enough without inviting the drama in, ya know?

    That's a really good guy you've got there, btw. Appreciate him. :)
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 12:28 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I feel your pain.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Do not try to make up with her. Let her make up with you. Really do you want your DD around someone who could be such a negative influence? Not only will she probably continue to put you down but she may end up doing it in front of your DD. Your DH and you need to be done with her. He is going to have to insist that she stay away if she is going to continue with this behavior. All you have to do is stand up to her and let her know that it is your home, your family, and if she wants to be a part of your DD life she needs to act accordingly and that includes not being disrespectful to you.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 1:26 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • My MIL treated me horribly from day one. I tried to please her. I was taught that if you love the man, you must respect the ppl that bore him, but that was impossible at one point. She told him to my face, "with all the pretty white girls out there why did you choose HER?'. So finally I started standing up for myself and shut her damned mouth. Finally we grew closer and she even complimented me on standing up to her. Now we see each other every other day or so, she enjoys her granddaughters and we are actually happy with our family and live in complete peace. Sometimes this tactic doesn't work, but other times putting your foot down firmly, does the trick.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:16 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Talk about monsterinlaw.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Cut ALL of them off. They are TOXIC people. Look at how they treat their own SON, look at how they treat YOU - do you think they are going to treat your DD any better? I'm guessing not. Cut them off, become a BLACK HOLE - NO CONTACT. In the end it will be better for YOU , your SO and your DD. Your DD really doesn't need a relationship with people who act/treat others the way your IL's do - regardless if they are her GP's or not. Do you really want to live the rest of your life feeling the way you do about yourself because of the way they treat you?
    Fooph121780

    Answer by Fooph121780 at 9:09 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN