Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Not sure which category this should go, but someone is missing! I NEED TO FIND HER!

She's a young girl. Free spirited, hopeful, unafraid of the world around her, she likes to play in the yard and at playgrounds, make up stories and decipher shapes in the passing clouds. She is very fun loving and makes up stories on the spot...she loves my kids and wants so badly to play with them...but she is locked behind a steel door in a closet that is dark and dreary filled with fear and wants to come out badly. The key I am afraid is hidden somewhere and I can't find it.

That little girl who is my INNER CHILD and I NEED TO FIND HER!

If you've lost your inner child...can you tell me how you reconnected with her? I would love suggestions.

After my mom passed away she went into this closet and I locked the door. Now my daughters need their mom who is in touch with her inner child.

Thanks for sharing *S*

Answer Question

Asked by truetigress at 12:09 AM on Feb. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Level 9 (290 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Go to the park and play on the swings
    Eat a bunch of junk food
    Just laugh thinking about the past memories
    Look at old photo albums
    Go and see a funny moive
    Home movies?
    I dunno if this is what you were looking for but I hope you find what you need!

    Answer by MaiasMommy619 at 12:23 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • A curious thing happens when a person in a previous generation dies - a mother, grandmother. The grief is not the only thing we have to deal with. There is a generational shift. The entire structure of our life changes. Now, in the generational hierarchy, you are at the top. You are the mother, but not the child. This may be why you feel you have lost your inner child. This abrupt shift does not mean that you have to "grow up." You've already done that...and you will be doing that for the rest of your life. Your inner child is still there...just ask her out to play.

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 12:43 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • She is my creative side...she holds my ability to write stories and without her I am forever blocked.

    She has my ability to connect soley with my children on a personal. fun level whereas right now all I am is authoritative and disconnected (worried more about getting housework done than having fun with my kids.)

    She is my ability to speak to strangers without shying away from them.

    She also has my ability to be adventurous with my kids without fear of things like West Nile Virus and Skin Cancer... and she also has my ability to be fun and adventurous with my husband in trying new things in the bedroom...

    She hides behind a door that is full of self doubt, self loathing, anxiety, true fear, and other negative feelings that come out through my actions..inabilities to connect with my daughters teachers...even in my own speech. Here I am clear in speaking, outside this box I am known as sullen, quiet, shy...

    Answer by truetigress at 12:44 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • ...perhaps even a bit stand-offish

    In connection with my own daughters. My inner child loves children and would play with them often. She connected to younger children, older children, children her own age was another story but she survived.

    Yeah I did sense a MAJOR change when mom died. I had to be strong for the family so I refused to break down. Stay strong and I can help my family...that was my motto. It wasn't until they finally laid a rose from her casket in my hand that I wept and wept openly and hard. The tears wouldn't stop. Then I found my strength and re centered myself and put the strong wall back up. I take care of the rest of my family that was left behind..not just the one I created with my husband. No matter what I do it always seems I fugg things up with them just by trying to help.

    I want her to come out to play again. I want to be able to feel carefree and just go out and have fun!

    Answer by truetigress at 12:51 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Strength is also the ability to relax and be confident that things will not fall apart if you let your guard down.

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 1:13 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I think that is why I feel the need to release the inner child. I can't relax. I don't think I remember how. If I do accomplish soon will it be before something bad happens? That's always the question I have in my head. If I let my guard down...who else I know will get hurt? Why wasn't I able to stop it from happening? Maybe a big part of why she hides behind that door is because she is afraid if she does her world will fall apart again. Like it did when mom died.

    I think you really are onto something here. I do have control issues. I feel if I don't keep my guard up then my children might get hurt...or if I let them close to me something bad will happen to them too.

    Answer by truetigress at 1:57 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I wish that I could help you but I am at the same place that you are in now. My mother passed away when I was 6 months pregnant with my oldest. Now my children are 3 and 2, and I have a very hard time just not being such a parent and being a child from time to time.

    Answer by BabyBeans0506 at 2:38 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • How soon before something bad happens?...The answer is...Bad things happen all the time. Nobody can predict when. Bad things will...or will not ...happen whether you are enjoying life and having fun or not. Another curious thing is that if we happen to be having a good time when bad things happen we tend to feel an extra and undeserved amount of guilt. Like we should have been paying more attention and if we were, then we could have stopped it. the day we were on a family trip, having a great time, when my grandmother died. It was Father's Day and we were supposed to be at my grandmothers house, but we had just returned home from the trip and had not gotten ready to go yet...we were late. She had a heart attack and died just a couple hours before we would have arrived. Could we have prevented her death if we had arrived sooner? I'll never know. This (and other things) did cause some control issues for me...(Cont)

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 12:28 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • but this was a long time ago, and I have learned a few things since. The biggest lesson is that there are things I can control, and things I can not (read the "Serenity Prayer" -whether you are religious or not it is great wisdom). One thing I can control is whether or not my children and the people around me enjoy my company. And if they enjoy my company, then they will better enjoy the life they have with matter how long it lasts. I will enjoy my life better too. What is a life un-lived? What I am trying to say is that, if you can't release the control...then use this need to control for something positive. Control is not entirely bad. You can't control life and death and you can't stop all bad things, but you CAN control the moments between the (inevitable) bad things and make those moments as special as possible. Remember, you aren't a watch dog, you are a human mother.

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 12:48 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Serenity Prayer..."God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."


    Answer by FlyMom07 at 12:53 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.