How would you handle this one....

My SO has to go out of town on business. He is going to drive 8 hours the first day and stop and spend the night with our close friends (she is my BFF and he is friends with her husband). She has asked that my kids come along and spend a few days with them. I am all for it. My MIL isn't OK with this since he works for her. The thing is he is going to be traveling about 3 more hours north the day after he gets to our friends. My MIL seems to think that the kids are going to be a distraction for him (they won't even be with him). No matter how you look at it he has to drive through the town where our friends are, so would it be that bad for him to take the kids. Our friends want to see them and spend time with them, is it really that big of a deal to take them along? If I am not looking at this properly please let me know. I don't see the big deal and neither does my SO, but my MIL says it is a business trip and he needs to be focused.

BTW we would trust our children's lives with these people and they feel the same with their kids. We had one of their 3 for 2 weeks this summer.

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Asked by coala at 12:35 PM on Aug. 5, 2012 in Relationships

36793 Level 28

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So long as they offered to watch the kids while he is out working at his moms' I don't see what the issue is. Does he get paid for traveling to jobs as well?

Answer by KristiS11384 at 12:41 PM on Aug. 5, 2012
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I guess it depends on the job and whether or not he's supposed to be seeing clients?

But if it's just an 8 hour drive before any actual work is going to be done (to get to the job site) do what the two of you feel is best and stop telling her details that are none of her business.

Answer by feralxat at 12:43 PM on Aug. 5, 2012
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It really does not matter if he is working for his mother or a total stranger. Business trips are just that. Family usually are not allowed, unless the boss say so. Sense she(the boss) said no. That means no.

Like me and my DH, he had a job that sent him to germany and Italy. If we paid my way round trip, I could have went and stayed in the hotel with him no problem. But I could not ride in the rental car.Rules of the car rental agreement) So there was no way I could go with him. Because I could not go from Germany to Italy and back to germany for the trip home.

Answer by louise2 at 12:44 PM on Aug. 5, 2012
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He works for her. So she is in the loop. I just happened to mention that my BFF asked for him to bring the kids along. She has been wanting to see them. They moved out of state (8 hrs away) 6mos ago. The kids miss them. He will be compensated for his travel and time. He is going to look at some property and WILL not have the children with him, he will leave them 3 hrs behind with my friend. I have no problems with this. I just can't go b/c we don't have someone to take care of the animals while we are gone for 4-5 days.

Comment by coala (original poster) at 12:47 PM on Aug. 5, 2012
Credits: 36793 Level 28 Relationships Major
BTW he is using is own car

Comment by coala (original poster) at 12:48 PM on Aug. 5, 2012
Credits: 36793 Level 28 Relationships Major
I would say that, since it is business, she shouldn't be relying on his friends to put him up for the night, and that she should pay for a business class hotel and meals...wait, friends are fine for providing that, right? Is he being paid for his time driving? I could see that being used as an argument. I can't imagine my mother or MIL making this argument!

Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:49 PM on Aug. 5, 2012
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This whole thing is leaving me stunned. They want him to come and visit for the night and not stay in a hotel and they want the girls. I just don't understand the BIG deal that she is making of it. Like I said if I was not seeing something clearly then that is my fault.

Thanks to some of you who have pointed out a few things that I didn't see. I appreciate that so much!

Comment by coala (original poster) at 12:51 PM on Aug. 5, 2012
Credits: 36793 Level 28 Relationships Major
He is probably going to take them whether his mother agrees or not, b/c he doesn't see the issue either. I will point out a few of the other things that some of you brought to my attention.

Comment by coala (original poster) at 12:54 PM on Aug. 5, 2012
Credits: 36793 Level 28 Relationships Major
As long as the children dn't interfere with business it's okay. MIL is controlling; I'd ignore her.

Answer by meooma at 1:06 PM on Aug. 5, 2012
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I wonder if this doesn't have to do with insurance. If he's travelling for her, whether he is using his car or not, I can only suppose he'd be covered by his professional insurance (paid by his employer) so if anything happens, goes wrong, etc. she might be the one who is out of pocket.

OTOH, this might also be due to her being a worried grandmother who doesn't like the idea of her grandchildren being on the road with someone who is liable to be under stress at the wheel.

Answer by winterglow at 1:35 PM on Aug. 5, 2012
Credits: 31032 Level 27 Relationships Major

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