Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

$20,000????

So my husband received a great bonus check when he started his new position. He gave me some money to slurge with and I am so grateful. However he is trying to pay off the bills. We have been together 4 years. So I tell him to make sure we have a little cushion in the bank. He then tells me he owes his brother $20,000 and he borrowed it before we were together. So now he is going to pay him back. I am glad he is paying his brother back however is wish he would have told me. What about our family? Why did he not tell me.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Feb. 4, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (8)
  • Maybe he was embarassed
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 9:51 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Probably embarrassed, but he is obligated to pay back that loan.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • He should have told you because once you two got married that became you debt too.
    My brother owes me thousands...thousands...I wish that he would pay me back..
    Talk to him..ask him why it was never mentioned to you and if there is anything else that he never told you about.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 9:51 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • maybe he just never mentioned it because he borrowed the money before you two were together, and maybe he didnt want you to stress out over the fact that he owed so much money to his brother
    Candice_brooke

    Answer by Candice_brooke at 9:56 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • The day you got married, that became your debt too. It wasn't right for your husband to keep it from you, no matter how embarrassed he was. If his brother takes him to court, YOU can get in trouble too.

    I would be pretty mad if my husband did this. I'd then take over the finances from that point so that I were completely aware of where our money went.
    Betty.Wrong

    Answer by Betty.Wrong at 9:59 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • If your really are woundering if he has bills you don't know about. Do a back ground check on him. It's easy to do now day on the computer. And/or pull up his credit report online. Both ways are easy to do online.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:12 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • He was probably embarrassed about it. I would talk to him in a loving and non judgemental way. I you attack him or are confrontational about this he will not trust you and will shut down. We all make mistakes and you two should work this out together.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Embarressed I'm sure. Talk to him ask him to offer his brother half $10,000.00 and tell his brother that he actually has the 20,000.00 but that his family could really use the other 10,000.00 He may be surprised at the response. I'm sure the brother didn't ever expect a Full payback all at once. Family should always stick together. And if the brother isn't in a bad financial situation he may just except that $10,000.00 amount. You never know, the worst he could say is no. Good Luck!
    genav

    Answer by genav at 3:40 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.