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What do I do?!?!

My MIL has totally taken over my sons 1st bday party. I am not sure if I mad both mad and happy about this. Happy because I do not have to do anything at all.Just go and injoy. Mad because I have told her over and over I wanted to do his 1st party. She always says something like "What ever my grandbaby wants my grandbaby will get" I have tried telling her he does nit know what he wants. Right now he is only 8 months. The one she is having will be 10 times biger then anything I will be able to be and she is having my family to. She wants us all to be one big family. That would be nice but as country as I am my family is not and hers is. My parents got deversed when I was grow and moved out and DH Parents was diversed before he was born. She only has one son and i married him. We only have one baby and are not having any more. She does this kind of stuff all the time. I do not thank she is trying to be mean I just thank she has this idea that her family and my family can come together. I know my mom and dad can not be in the same room. and I and not sure DH dads wife and her could get ok in the same room.

Questions:
Do I just let her just have her party and sit back and injoy?
Do I put a stop to her having a big party?
Do I just help her with hers so I am still doing a party? Even if it is not idea.
If I help with hers do I need to help her pay for it?
Do I just need to go ahead with mine?
Or do I just do one for the dads sides?

 
jthough407

Asked by jthough407 at 6:47 AM on Aug. 7, 2012 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 12 (804 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • She sounds like she is trying to spoil her only child and wants to be nice. Let her. That's what grandparents are for.
    As long as she NEVER undermines your (or husbands) parenting accept her offers of kindness as just that- kindness.

    Have husband explain who can and cannot be in the same room together and have a small party for them.
    Have husband discuss finances. If y'all can't afford the large party have him tell mom it needs to be scaled back. He can do this while explaining the family dynamics.

    Besides she's correct- adults need to act as such and be civil every now and again for the sake of children.
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 8:50 AM on Aug. 7, 2012

  • I asked it in two places. I am new to this site. So i am still getting to know it. Is it ok if i do this or is just asking it in one place let it be open to every where?
    jthough407

    Comment by jthough407 (original poster) at 7:20 AM on Aug. 7, 2012

  • not sure what to tell you bc im dealing with this also
    tigger3itch

    Answer by tigger3itch at 1:45 PM on Aug. 7, 2012

  • If you don't put a stop to it now it will only get worse.
    mommys2cupcakes

    Answer by mommys2cupcakes at 1:55 PM on Aug. 7, 2012

  • >Do I just let her just have her party and sit back and injoy?< ENjoy. And yes.


    >Do I put a stop to her having a big party?< No.


    >Do I just help her with hers so I am still doing a party? < Your choice. Since you know about the grandparent problem, I'd do a separate party and explain plainly WHY.


    >If I help with hers do I need to help her pay for it?< Offer to do so.


    >Do I just need to go ahead with mine? Or do I just do one for the dads sides?< Answered above.


    You don't necessarily need to ask a question twice here... many moms read ALL the questions and not just by section.

    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:32 AM on Aug. 8, 2012

  • AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 7:01 AM on Aug. 7, 2012

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