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What do you tell a toddler who heard you and your husband having sex?

My daughters are 3 and a half. Last Saturday after they fell asleep for their afternoon nap, my husband and I went to bed for a little while. We were in there a little longer than I realized and the girls had woken up, but I didn't know. Our door was closed, but they could hear us (I'm a little loud) so when we were done dh got up to go to the bathroom and found the kids just sitting in the hallway crying quietly. One of them said, "Were you hurting mommy?" We didn't know what to say, we want to be honest about sex, but didn't think it would come up so early. Chances are that they're going to hear it again sometime (even though we try to be careful and if we know they're awake we stop), and I don't want them to be scared, so what should I say to them?


Asked by MommyAddie at 11:03 AM on Feb. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I would not suggest telling the child that you are playing any type of game. My niece was told by her parents that they were playing tag. Well, she wanted to know why she couldn't play. And no matter how they tried to keep her quiet, she told me, my husband, and our real estate agent that mommy and daddy play tag naked...over and over again.

    Answer by Steff107 at 2:12 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • i wouldn't go in too the hole we was having sex thing but i would let them know that he wasn't hurting you and all and that you where just having some grown up time and that its all ok

    Answer by greeniemommy at 11:07 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Toddlers don't seem to read into as much as we do. We were taking a shower one night and mt three year old came in(she was asleep earlier)she yelled at my husband. She said,"you can't be in there!!!!" Anyway, we didn't say anything to her we just told her to go back to her room and didn't feel the need to discuss it further. She didn't ask, and she didn't see anything so we left it alone. If she does ask I have to agree with the first answer tell her it was adult time and not to worry about it.

    Answer by Steff107 at 11:14 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Oh my gosh :( poor kids. I would def. try to keep it down a notch with the kids around. Unless of course you want to explain every time that daddy is not hurting you. I agree with the one time explanation of "adult time". Im kind of a private person so one time explanation would be enough for me. I'd be much more careful :)

    Answer by mistynights234 at 11:15 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • You shoud make an effort on keeping it down lol. It CAN be done. But I would just tell them you were exercising and pulled a muscle LOL. Keep it simple.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • try biting a pillow. that's what i do

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I like the answer you were having "Adult Time" but another one is we were wrestling around and we are okay.

    Answer by HardyFan at 11:31 AM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • one time my son walked in and 'ahem' I was facing away from my SO if you know what I mean. He asked what we were doing and I told him he was massaging my back! Just reassure your kids you're not hurt, they might not even remember. Then yeah try biting a pillow!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I've told my daughter that mommy and daddy were play fighting....we play fight with her so she just thinks we were wrestling around.

    Answer by drpepper73 at 1:53 PM on Feb. 4, 2009