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My 4 year old...

I have a 4yr old boy and a 1 year old little girl. My son acts like he is a baby all the time. He acts like he can't do simple things like find a certain pair of shorts. this morning i told him to go find the jean shorts with the green rhino on the pocket. Then i said they are on ur sisters dresser. hes fussin and telling me he cannot find them. I walk in there and they are right ON TOP of the dress along with a few of his sisters clothes. He set in there for about 10mins looking for the shorts and a matching shirt. He walkes into the bathroom with the shirt half way on & says he can't find the head hole.
--He does this kind of stuff all the time!!He acts like hes just not very smart. He know his left and his right then his dad set down wiht him and asked him and he acted like he didnt know. I really dont think its because he needs attention. I could list a number of things that he knows how to do and just acts or idk forgets. What is the problem??!

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jennifer_oakley

Asked by jennifer_oakley at 11:46 AM on Aug. 9, 2012 in General Parenting

1531 Level 14
Answers (5)
  • The problem is that a) he's 4 and b) he's an older sibling with a little sibling who is being helped with everything and who still demands more attention than your average preschooler might normally need. You may not think he needs the attention, but to a 4 year old (well to any kid with a sibling) the sibling always gets more and he/she always gets not enough. My kids are 10 and just about 8, ask either of them who gets more attention and they'll tell you it's hands-down their sibling.

    2nd, my kids (and my DH) can still walk into a room and not find things in fairly obvious places. "Did you look under the Bionicle on your bean bag chair to see if your notebook was there?" OOhhhh, there it is! Wow. Thanks mom. (OR DH staring into the fridge not finding the milk because there's a carton of strawberries in front of it) Play hide and seek games with objects and work together to really "seek" under, around, in, etc
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 12:05 PM on Aug. 9, 2012

    Credits: 24640 Level 25 1 star1 star General Parenting Minor
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  • If you're not already, reward "big kid" behaviors even if they're things you think should be a norm. IF he gets himself dressed, praise him like nuts. Give him privileges that come with being 'big' - maybe he gets to help you make dinner tonight or he ride a tricycle/scooter/bike whatever you have, while you push the stroller with DD. Comment on how 'big' he is in doing that. When my two were smaller, I'd ask DS to 'teach' DD how to do things - like "I'm trying to teach Megan how to put her shirt on. Can you come here and help me by showing her how a big kid like you does it?" Don't make a fuss when he's not doing something you think he can/should. Don't ignore him but limit the attention he gets for it. Lavish attention on the behavior you want to see repeated.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 12:10 PM on Aug. 9, 2012

    Credits: 24640 Level 25 1 star1 star General Parenting Minor
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  • I was going to say that..

    My ds is the same way but i just have to let him know that he is the big brother and is showing his sister how.. oh it will stop at some point
    mommys2cupcakes

    Answer by mommys2cupcakes at 12:55 PM on Aug. 9, 2012

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  • If you're not already, reward "big kid" behaviors even if they're things you think should be a norm
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 11:01 PM on Aug. 10, 2012

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  • God bless him, is he 4 or 40? I thought I was reading about my DH, who is extremely intelligent, but no matter what it is, sitting on the end of the dresser, he can't ever see it! Your DS is gonna make some gal a really great husband one day and you and your DIL will bond. Your DS is going to grow up to be a professor or an enginee, or both. Try not to give DS too much of a hard time, he's thinking about how stuff works and how to make it work better, he doesn't have time to worry about where his socks are :)
    jdjamm

    Answer by jdjamm at 11:44 PM on Aug. 14, 2012

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