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10 Bumps

Would you allow your child to be.... adult content

a goth/emo/scene/punk/metal head, will you let them dye their hair and wear make up the way their "stereotype" wears it?

if yes why
and if no why
i only ask because my DD has been a goth/punk/rocker since she was 10 been wanting tattoo's piercings wanting to dye her hair and been wearing black since she was 10. my ex husband keeps kicking her down (shes 20 now) saying shes going to grow out of it,shes a mom now dress like a mom,your going to hurt your child in the end if you dont change the way you look
and this is an actual quote from her 19th birthday from my exdh "your fucking fat stop dressing like that, you dont look like you did when you were 15" my dd was anorexic at 15 btw

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Aug. 10, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Answers (38)
  • First of all, what your ex is doing sounds abusive, and has nothing to do with her style.

    At 10....no, I wouldn't. As a teen, if it wasn't permanent....something like weird hair, or other style statements, I'd probably let go. Tattoos and piercings, I think they need to be over 18. Otherwise, hair grows out...clothes can be changed. Nails repainted, etc.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:22 AM on Aug. 10, 2012

  • @ohwrite oh no i know i dont mean letting them dye their hair at 10 or anything, i just used my dd as an example
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:28 AM on Aug. 10, 2012

  • So long as she wasn't sneaking around getting piercings and tattoos without me knowing about it, and her grades were good and she didn't look like a hooker, I wouldn't care. I'm 23 and have been "goth" my entire life, but my family still thinks I'll "grow out of it." I didn't learn that it was an actual style and sub-culture until I was about 11, though, and even I thought it might be a "phase." It wasn't lol. I probably wouldn't be ok with any heavy makeup or piercings until she was a teenager, and then we would have to talk about it for a while so I could better understand why she wanted them. I would allow *maybe* two piercings before she turned 18, but like I said, there would be a discussion, and there would be conditions to be met before I'd agree to it, and I'd have to approve of the piercing itself.

    I agree that he sounds abusive and it isn't about her style. He sounds like an ass.
    Mrs.BAT

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 1:30 AM on Aug. 10, 2012

  • Oh and as for the hair... It's just hair, it'll grow back and it's pretty easy to change the color, especially with things like Manic Panic (which is what I use for my "funky" colored pieces).
    Mrs.BAT

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 1:32 AM on Aug. 10, 2012

  • If that is what they chose to be.. most the time it's all a faze.. i was it's really about them finding who they are.
    mommys2cupcakes

    Answer by mommys2cupcakes at 1:39 AM on Aug. 10, 2012

  • yeah i know my exdh is a jackass but sadly he got custody of my dd when she was 5 so i havent been able to instill anything, shes grown up being called fat by her dad and her great grand mother, when she was anorexic she was accepted in the family, she just cut her hair short and donated 20 inches of it and her father is pissed off and now refuses to see her and his grandson (which he never did in the first place my dd hasnt had a moment alone with her fiance in 2 years no dinners unless their ds is asleep and they cook it,no movies without their ds screaming, you get the picture.)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:40 AM on Aug. 10, 2012

  • I certainly would not WANT her to do that, but if that is what she wants, then I will allow it...obviously sticking to age appropriateness in everything.

    I had a mother that did everything she could to make me into a mini-her. I refuse to do that to my daughter, I will let her be her and if that means being something I cringe at the idea of, then so be it...I will love and support her no matter what.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 1:42 AM on Aug. 10, 2012

  • Absolutely! My kids are already into that style as am I.
    BIMOM21

    Answer by BIMOM21 at 2:34 AM on Aug. 10, 2012

  • nothing that's infection possible or permanent in my house

    omg those comments are so un kind :(
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 2:43 AM on Aug. 10, 2012

  • i sure would. i started dressing goth when i was about 12 and i am 29 and have not turned back. i will not tell my kids they cant wear something unless it is too skimpy, but that would be no matter what style they like.
    MooNFaeRie30

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:23 AM on Aug. 10, 2012

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