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Does anyone have issues and resentment for a soon to be step child?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Feb. 4, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (6)
  • I don't have any step-children but I would strongly encourage you to resolve this resentment before you get married. You don't need to enter a marriage with resentment for your step-child.

    Answer by JeremysMom at 3:14 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • YES! I have been with my bf for over 3 years. We have both been married before (him twice) and neither of us are anxious to get married, but we're fully committed to each other and a life long relationship with each other. He has 2 boys, ages 9 and 4. The 4yr old and I get along great, but the 9yr old and I have our issues and I definately feel resent for him and he does for me. Our issues seem to stem from me feeling that he gets in the way of my relationship with his dad, and he feels I get in the way of his relationship with his dad.
    Have you paid close attention to what behaviors are triggering your feelings and what your actual feelings are? The behaviors are just symptoms and you can only treat them so much. You need to understand your emotions being triggered by the behaviors and then you can begin to find resolution. I could chat with you for days about this subject....

    Answer by skinnykat at 3:40 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I have a close friend that I have been starting to date. He doesn't discipline his daughter. Our daughters are the same age and he gives his daughter whatever she wants. I am strict on my expectations with my daughter, but we are together all the time. I am considering not dating him just because of it. I haven't discussed it with him, but it is driving me crazy!! I can't believe how horrible she acts...he attitude is terrible and she is only 6!

    Answer by ria7 at 4:13 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I have said this before to other step-moms and I have to say it again. You have to work it out. If you need to spend time alone with him do it. The reason I feel so strongly is because I was in your shoes when my step-son was that age. It will be 4 years in May that we lost him to drugs. He overdosed and by the time we got down to him he was dead. Please don't let something happen that you may one day regret.

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 7:11 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • OMG yes. I need help.

    Answer by Godswk at 12:04 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I was a resentful step child. Ignore it and get over it. The child will come around. The child could feel like they are cheating on the other parent for liking the step parent.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 9:18 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

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