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9 Bumps

Top Ten Signs that You're a Christian--an oldie but a goodie.

So, are YOU a christian according to these guidelines?

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian.


Asked by witchqueen at 7:35 PM on Aug. 12, 2012 in Religious Debate

Level 29 (40,844 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • I always thought this should read as "Top ten reasons you're a fundie Christian or Hypocritical Christian" but that's just me. There are many Christians that fit this list (even in this section of cafemom" and many that don't. For those that this list "applies' to however it tends to fit them rather well.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 10:54 AM on Aug. 13, 2012

  • eye rolling


    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 7:37 PM on Aug. 12, 2012

  • 10 - No, I simply choose my own and consider Him the only one worthy of my faith.
    9 - My God created that same dirt ~ and no where in the Bible does it explain the process of how either dirt OR humans were created.
    8 - I don't recall ever laughing at anyone's god.
    7 - You confuse those who do Allah's work with what God himself did. What men have done in God's name is usually no better than what men have done in Allah's name.
    6 - Again, I'm not the one laughing at, or belittling, what others believe (as this 'oldy but goodie' does btw).
    5 - I don't. I also don't discount evolution. I do firmly believe that I have no long lost cousins swinging from trees anywhere ... but I don't mind if others get all mushy about them.
    4 - That's what my Holy book teaches. You believe what 'you' choose. We'll all find out in the end who was right.
    3 - No one can 'prove' Christianity to me, OR prove that they are truly a Christian.

    Answer by Farmlady09 at 10:19 PM on Aug. 12, 2012

  • LOL, Oh, I guess there's going to be another "war" tonight.

    On a more serious note, did anyone here watch the latest episode of "Through The Wormhole with Morgan Freeman"?
    It was titled: "Did We Invent God?" very fascinating stuff.

    Answer by 3libras at 7:39 PM on Aug. 12, 2012

  • Is this part of that "War on Christianity" that I've been hearing so much about on Fox News?



    Answer by jsbenkert at 9:38 PM on Aug. 12, 2012

  • 2 - I've never looked at percentages. What I do know is that people who pray are happier than those I know who do not.
    1 - What I know isn't used to belittle others. Christianity is about a covenant with God and following Christ's teachings.

    Answer by Farmlady09 at 10:20 PM on Aug. 12, 2012

  • i know many Christians that do not follow this "signs" list...and just as many that do.

    Answer by okmanders at 11:12 PM on Aug. 12, 2012


    *I will say most of these apply to many of my family members...


    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 6:11 PM on Aug. 14, 2012

  • Is this part of that "War on Christianity" that I've been hearing so much about on Fox News? Answer by jsbenkert an hour ago

    Not sure, but maybe it has to do with Pop's rebellion against god question?  Anyway, things have been pretty dull on cafemom for the past couple of weeks.  I thought I'd join Pop in stirring things up.  Bet we're not bored anymore!  LOL.


    Comment by witchqueen (original poster) at 11:07 PM on Aug. 12, 2012

  • Now tell us how you really feel. :)

    Answer by Beeyatch80 at 6:04 PM on Aug. 14, 2012