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I am in an interracial relationship but my family is extremely racist? Help Please

I have been with my guy for going on 4 years, we have a beautiful 2 year-old baby girl. He is hispanic and I am as caucasion as they come. We are perfectly fine when it comes to his family but mine seems to try to find every possible chance to take cheep shots at him. I have tried everything to get them to stop but it doesn't work. To make matters worse they play nice to his face and then rip into him behind his back. They exclude him from family events. I know my family and I love them but this has to stop. Between his race and the fact that we aren't married cause major issues with my family. What sucks is that he is more of the sensitive type and senses their hostility and that is his #1 reason for us not being married. Any advice would be absolutely wonderful. Thank you

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Feb. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • My in laws are rich and they believed I was poor. They treated me awful. They treated our baby awful. I finally just told hubby I wanted nothing to do with them. It's not right to treat someone awful just because they are different than you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • It doesn't stop quit going around them. It's not your fault it's theirs. Good Luck

    Answer by Ann7227 at 5:42 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I'm kind of in the same boat, only it's just my grandmother who's racist. I'm white and my husband's black and we have a 6 month old son whom my grandmother wants nothing to do with (ironically, my son was even born on HER birthday). The funny part about it, is my grandmother who is white, married and had 4 kids with my grandfather who is full Mexican! All I can say, is that you can't live your life to please others even if it is your own family. It sucks, and it hurts but if he makes you happy then that's all that matters!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I wouldn't have my child exposed to their hate and would tell them up front first That I won't if they can't act suitable for my child's sake.I'd keep my distance from them sadly.

    Answer by summerray5 at 5:45 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Well, since you are old enough to make your decisions, just don't go around your family anymore. I am not one to say that, but, racism is a sign of ignorance and you don't want your child around that. Tell them beforehand what and why and then stick to it. Ignorant racist people really irritate me. Every one is equal in this world, and if you don't stop your family firm and fast, it will just as much your fault if something goes wrong. if you love the man for who he is, then you need to do whats right. You know what that is, so you have to make a choice. I am about as white as they come to and if either one of my daughters wanted to date outside of their race, I would welcome it as long as they are treated with respect and are treated good. if he treats you good and treats you with respect, you are lucky to have him in your life!

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:47 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Im hispanic and come from money so I have dealt with this issue more then once. I was always automatically labeled the rich spoiled person, and then add to that my husbands grandparents are extremely racist. They didnt even come to our wedding. My husband just cut them off. He said if they cant accept me, my kids from a previous marriage and our dd who is half hispanic they could kiss his ass. My parents always have issues with anyone I date. If its someone they didnt set me up with then they think Im dating, or in my case now married down. They get over it though. You just need to ignore it and not associate yourself with them.

    Answer by gemgem at 5:52 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • My BFF is having this same problem - sorta - except that she and her husband and family always include the young man, they are trying very hard to accept him and be happy for their daughter... But HE is the one being an ass. He outright disrespects my BFF and totally ignores her in her home, then says off-colored stuff like "what no Mexican beer in the fridge - I thought you were trying"..... I"m sorry for you. I wish your family could at least try like my BFF is trying. I won't tell you to stop going around your family; I'd say put your cards on the table with them and let them know that their actions are driving a wedge between you and them. Give them the chance to redeem or retreat. If they refuse you may have to take harder actions.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 5:56 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • that is his number one reason for not marrying you but he has children by you so they can be verbally abused by your family. Yeah that's smart. He's not TOO sensitive if he makes children who will have to face what he doesn't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Thats F*ed up! I dont even know what to say! My husband is hispanic too and THANK GOD my family doesnt care about his race. I would be SO pissed. What is it about him SPECIFICALLY they dont like? Just because he is Hispanic? UGH they need to get over it! Its a skin color. If he was beating you or some kind of creepo it would be okay for them to be upset...but if thats not that case (which I doubt that it is) where do they come off? You cant judge someone by the color of their skin. I'm just pissed and have no advice lol.....

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 6:34 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • summerray put it best IMO. Its not cool to teach kids to hate someone because of the color of their skin.

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 6:37 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

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