My MIL is constantly monitoring our spending. I HATE it! MY husband and I do well for ourselves, have a lot of money in savings, pay all of our bills on time, etc. If she sees that I bought my kids a new outfit she gets upset and says we should have waited until there was a neighborhood garage sale. OK, I can appreciate that...to an extent. If we eat out and she hears about it she gets upset. So, I asked my husband not to tell his mom the amount of our return. She will want to tell us how to spend it. He told her anyways. I am very upset with him because I feel like he just went over my head. I dont feel like it was too much to ask him to tell her "thats really none of your business." I feel like I am getting overly upset about this but I thought about it all day (she told me she knew about it last night) and I am still upset. Am I over reacting? Should I just not say anything to him?
Allow me to be very blunt and honest with you OK sweetie? You need to get your MIL out of your marriage before she destroys it. She may mean well but you will only be able to withstand her intruding into your personal life and undermining your decisions for so long. Money is the #1 thing couples fight over and to have three people fighting over it in a relationship is three too many. That money belongs between the two of you and what you do with it is your business. What he did demonstrated his preference to his mother's opinions and feelings over yours. You don't recall her taking your marriage vows on your wedding day did you? Even if he didn't mean to, he was disrespectful to you. You need to talk to him about it or things will never change and you'll risk harboring a grudge against him and his mother. HE needs to talk to her and let her know that enough is enough.
Answer by NovemberLove at 6:50 PM on Feb. 4, 2009
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Answer by LovinEveryDay at 6:27 PM on Feb. 4, 2009
We bought our house one month before we got married. It was under my husband's credit but I contributed actual cash down towards the house while not using my own credit. (We didn't use my credit in case something should happen to his or the mortgage, we would have had my credit history to fall back on if we needed a loan or something). My MIL took this to mean that the house belonged solely to my DH and my name should not be on the mortgage or title until we were married. She even tried to go with us to the signing to make sure that he listened and did NOT put my name on there. Well, he put my name on there and one evening when she was telling everyone about "HIS house" (emphasizing "HIS" when talking about it) I corrected her. You've never seen someone so mad that her son didn't listen to her. To this day my feelings are extremely hurt over it. I had to tell her that her concern was appreciated but not appropriate.
Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Feb. 4, 2009
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