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My poor fiance, how do I give him a break? He needs one so bad :(

We have a two week old preemie that feeds almost every hour. My fiance works 12 hour shifts and I am on maternity leave. There is no way that I can sleep while she sleeps because by the time I lay down it is time to feed again.

My fiance comes home after his 12 hour shifts and watches her for five hours so I can sleep and then he gets his five hours of sleep.

Yeah I am working all day with the baby but he is working all day on his feet doing a physical job. He has to be exhausted. I love him so much and I want to give him a break.

Any ideas?

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Asked by girlneffy at 6:21 PM on Feb. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Can you possibly get a family member or friend to come in a couple times a week? or hire a sitter for a litlte while? I sympathize, My oldest son was premature, and the lack of sleep was painful. It doesn't last forever, the baby will get big enough to not need such frequent feedings, but it would be nice for you and your husband to get a break, even something you can look forward to once a week.

    Answer by Bmat at 6:26 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • It's hard! My son wasn't a preemie but when he as born my husband was working 14 hour days and would come home to me in tears. Neither of us really slept for the first month. I can only imagine how much harder it must be with a baby who needs to eat every hour! All I can say is hang in there, it gets easier. Oh and keep the communication lines open between you and him! You don't want all that stress and frustrations to bottle up...

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 6:27 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • call both grandma's to come in for a day and the two of you go to a nice hotel and sleep (or not) the whole time!

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 6:32 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I agree with the pp's call on family to give you some days or a few hours off. If they cant ask some friends. If worst comes to worst and you get a tax return set some money aside so you can hire someone to come in and help you.

    Answer by gemgem at 6:45 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Maybe a family member can help or a trustworthy friend who has children two could switch off! Cook and clean for him,so he doesnt have to do that ever and just constantly give him notes, letters,and cute things to show him how much you care. Maybe a massage after he gets home too! Maybe you can work from home,so that he doesnt have to work so much...or babysit for extra money. I work from home,and it helped my relationship. He also worked 12 hour shifts. Good luck!

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 6:50 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Another thought is hiring a post partum doula. That would really help both of you out.

    Answer by squish at 6:59 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Wow you're a sweetheart! I don't have many idea's, but I send over some sleep dust :-) Hope it gets better

    Answer by Lizamafers at 1:21 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

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