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how do i get my kids to help more?

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Asked by chgomom68 at 8:16 PM on Feb. 4, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (11)
  • can you give alittle more info....Do you mean clean up after themselves, or help around the house more?
    Cleaning up after themselves is easy once you start to throw their stuff away they leave everywhere...after you have asked them to pick it up first.
    Help you more, yeah ask, if they refuse or you have to beg, start taking tv, computer, ipods, cellphones, money, treats away until they pitch in

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:23 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Incentives always work for mine. Simple things such as extra play time on games or an allowance or being able to order a pizza and etc.

    Answer by VaDivaMom at 8:47 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I would like to know the anwers to this queston because I have taken all of the above: cellphones, computers, ipods. internetand the car. You name it from my children and they wait unitl I get mad before they will do any cleaning.

    Answer by Atsa123 at 10:15 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Small jobs and reminders. My kids have chores that switch weekly. One unloads the dishwasher, one takes out the trash, and one feeds our animals. They are not allowed to play video games, get on the computer, etc., until their homework and chores are done. Don't feel bad about reminding them, because they won't do it unless you do. And if you want them to help clean a room, give them specific jobs, such as, one pick up toys, one dust, and one vacuum. My boys help me out a lot using these tricks.

    Answer by drowninginboys at 11:00 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • do they still frown on parents using cattle prods? (ok that was a joke) How old are they and what do you want them to do? Remember that kids' job is to go to school so be careful how much more you want them to do. Cleaning up after themselves and keeping their room clean is fair but making them be Cinderella might be too much and still expect them to do well in school. Kids need a good balance of school, simple chores (not heavy duty housecleaning), and playtime/socializing with other kids. You'd be surprised how many working moms want the kids to be the parent and keep the house clean and cook the meals etc. Let them be kids.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:57 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • 1. Let them know exactly what they need to do by writing it down (so you're saved from repeating yourself 50 times). 2. Allow them to choose the order in which they do the chore/activity. 3. Provide a reward for success. I am a "lister" (ok, I just made that up). I create lists for a lot of things (including this answer! lol), and my daughter's daily responsibilies. Sometimes she creates her own lists to check off. On her list is the fun things she wants to do, and the chores. She'll usually get to decide the order, but if it's important, I'll decide. She has to do at least 3-4 things on the list before having a "break." If it's things that are going to be done daily, make a chart. It has to become part of their routine. Be patient if you didn't require them to help out before, and they respond w/ excuses and "forgetting." Good luck!

    Answer by Playground123 at 12:06 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Don't give them a choice, if they don't help out with chores then they don't get money, they don't get extra snack foods, you stop letting them use the car or giving them rides (whatever their ages are). Don't reward them for doing nothing if they can't help out around the house.

    Answer by bubblycute at 10:27 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Make a chore list for each kid. Once the days chores are done, they get to put a sticker or something similar on a chart. If the chart is full at the end of the week, they get a set amount for allowance. For every star that is missing, 1/4 of their allowance gets taken away (so if they have 4 days with no stars and only 3 with, they don't get allowance that week). Its a great motivator. Or you could tell them that if they fill their charts completely, they get a special outing on the weekend or something. It works well for my kids =)

    Answer by AprilDJC at 4:43 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • You need to find out what they love or "can't live without" and be ready to be "meanest mom in the world" and don't what you say. There has to be consequences good and bad and be consistant...they'll come around.

    Answer by 3cubsonthemove at 8:35 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

  • A few years ago, my parents had the HARDEST time getting me to do chores. So my mom sat me down and asked me for something I would like to regularly receive or happen. I told her I'd like to be able to go to my highschool football games. She said "okay, when you unload and reload the diswasher at least three days of the schoolweek, that's a ticket, and when you clean your room, that's $20 to spend at the game, and if you decide to do something big, like clean the whole bathroom, do the laundry, etc., that's a t-shirt or whatever that you may want to wear to the game to show school spirit." It worked like a charm, and I kept the dishes done, my room clean, and the laundry done most of the time after that.

    Answer by ktrog at 9:31 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

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