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3 Bumps

How to tell someone that they are heading down the wrong path?

I know of someone who is in some type of a relationship with a gang memeber. And I don't want that for her. She is young and he is an adult. Please help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 AM on Aug. 15, 2012 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • Some people just have to experience things for them to understand, thats just how it is, you can give people advice but its difficult whenits dealing with a boyfriend/husband etc, when you care about a person or love them you feel the need to defend them when fanily or friends voice their opinions, it almost always ends up with the person choosing the mate over the family member or friend so thats why sometimes you gotta let them live and learn

    Answer by toybar02 at 2:07 AM on Aug. 15, 2012

  • It depends on your relationship with the girl. First of all, if he's an adult and she's minor, the police could be involved. If not, you could try talking to her, or to her parents....or possibly to a school counselor for help with the situation.

    Answer by ohwrite at 3:26 AM on Aug. 15, 2012

  • i think it depends on how well you know her. no matter what tell her what you think, but the better you know the more detailed you can get on why. unfortunately all you can do is voice your concerns you can't force her to do anything and she may be mad at you. if she is a minor i would talk to her parents. im not sure what the laws are where you live as far as getting police involved too.

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:15 AM on Aug. 15, 2012

  • Agh, it's her bad boy. I'm sure most of us had a bad boy in their lives. Unfortunately, I think she will have to get him out of her system. Hopefully sooner rather than later. The gang connection & the fact that he's an adult is def. cause for concern. And those concerns should be voiced to her & her parents.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:44 AM on Aug. 15, 2012

  • All you can do is give her your opinion of her life. This rarely changes anyone choices however.

    Answer by meooma at 6:50 AM on Aug. 15, 2012

  • I found it to be more effective to show them, rather than just tell them. If you can take her to where he hangs out and let her catch him doing some of his "gang" stuff or if you can show her the results of some of his "work", she will be more apt to believe you. Our oldest dated a girl who we knew was trouble. I tried telling him, but I ended up driving him to where she was supposed to be and wasn't, so he could see for himself that she had lied to him. He was 15 at the time, and they didn't see each other much after that.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:13 AM on Aug. 15, 2012

  • I'd ask her what she wants out of life, what her goals are and that sort of thing, then remind her that the people she surrounds herself with can either help her or hurt her with that. Let her know you wnat the best for her and ask her if this guy is worth it

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:08 AM on Aug. 15, 2012

  • Do her parents know that she is seeing an adult? I would say start with them, I am sure she thinks this is all very cool, but reality is she could get hurt or killed. I would say to talk to her parents first, and see what they are doing about the situation.

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:46 AM on Aug. 15, 2012

  • NO ONE learns from others mistakes, life is a try and hopefully learn scenario...maybe talking to the parents might help, but some teens have their mind set until something awful happens...good luck!

    Answer by older at 11:52 AM on Aug. 15, 2012

  • It depends on your relationship, but a good friend would let her know. You need to sit her down and explain possible scenarios of various situations.

    Answer by robinkane at 6:34 PM on Aug. 15, 2012

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