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I ask the question about my MIL and having names for my daughters.

SO I talked to DH about it and I told him if WE didnt do something about it then she couldnt see them and he said NO that we were not doing that that it was NOT that big of a deal. I AM SO pissed right now. She underminds everything I say when it comes to my kids. Even MY son My DH isnt his father and she isnt his grandmother but yet when it comes to his family I STILL dont have a say. It makes me so mad. I dont know what to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Feb. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • then take it into your own hands. i had the same problem with my SO, he would never stand up to his mother so finally when i realized he wouldnt do it. I started (as politely as possible) saying something to his mom when she did something i didnt appreciate and it worked. she now listens to me when i give her an instruction pertaining to my dd
    Kennadismom

    Answer by Kennadismom at 10:43 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Just don't give them any power!! No reason to stress... You are the mother and your insticts are right!! Don't involve MIL so much!!
    jennieo622

    Answer by jennieo622 at 10:44 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Sounds like MIL is having a power struggle with you and DH would prefer to stick his head in the sand. You cannot expect to fix your MIL issues until you fix your DH problems.

    Maybe approaching him in a less confrontational way would work better. Like "When your mother does this.... it makes me feel disrespected, undermined, etc." Then when she is around you both, point her behavior out to DH as it's happening... Like "Did you catch that honey?"

    My DH tried to deny his mother was being awful to me... but one day of visiting and pointing things out to him as they happened & he was apologizing the WHOLE way home.

    You named YOUR children and she needs to be told to respect that. It's not something you should be compromising on letting her do in a few years. She raised her kids, you deserve to do the same and your way, not hers. Disrespect the mother and you will miss out on the kids, plain and simple.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • I did talk to him about it first that is just what it came down to I just had my baby well she is amost a month old. I am battling PPD and have 3 kids 2 and under to take of he is not understanding about what I am going through. I know that we have a problem but I cant get him to talk to me. And his mother butting in (she always does) or causing problems does NOT help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • Yeah, you have enough to deal with and shouldn't have to put up with DuH and your MIL too. I'm not sure how your relationship works or if DH usually gets his way... but this is a battle worth fighting.

    How woud DH feel if you handled MIL yourself? Does he want you to just hush and let MIL do her thing?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • THey all let her do her own thing they always have they dont want to fight with her. That is why she dont lik me because I dont (normally) shut up and let things happen but I was tryig to let him handle it because it IS his mother but that dont seem to be working. She has his WHOLE family against me. The only reason they see me is because they want to see the kids they could care less if they see or talk to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Feb. 4, 2009

  • What exactly is it that she does? she calls your kids names?
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 12:36 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

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