Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What can an adoptive father do when his soon to be x-wife wants to reverse an adoption?

She is the biological mother and the adoption occurred in July of 2008. The recently separated and are in divorce proceedings. For no reason, she states she wants to reverse the adotpion. He said the judge in FL said the bio-mom and father (who signed over rights) had one years to change their minds. My friend has doing nothing but love this child and raise her for 8 years. He pays child support now and for health insurance. I think the mother is just being vindictive. Does he have any say in this? What can he do?

Answer Question
 
lola_yell

Asked by lola_yell at 1:28 AM on Feb. 5, 2009 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • talk to a lawyer right away.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:21 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • RUN to a REALLY good lawyer!

    My dh used to be stationed with a guy who got taken advantage of with a vindictive woman and adoption. He met this woman, fell in love, etc. She pushed and pushed, wanting to get married, and he loved her so they did. As soon as they were married, she was pushing for him to adopt her little 5 yr old, "so they could be a real family" as she put it, and since he thought the sun rose and set on this little girl, he did. He loved that little girl more than life, and there was no bio dad around.

    Not a full month after the adoption was done she divorced him and sued for child support, and since she was able to argue that she was the mom, they hadn't been married very long / he hadn't been the dad very long, and she had family in the area where he was now (again) a single Sailor, so she won. He pays support and doesn't really get to see her. She conned him, and the whole thing's sad.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:33 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Hmmm...I don't see her winning this. So did the bio dad sign over rights, pass away, abandoned them, gave his permission or what?? In order for the step parent to be able to adopt they have to notify the biological parent. What I'm trying to say is that it's a very difficult process and something that a judge doesn't take likely so I don't see any judge reversing the decision. This is a great example of why it is so difficult for step parents to adopt their step children. His ex is a straight up Bitch. She needs to realize that this isn't about her and him this is about her child's feelings. Tell him he needs to speak with an attorney. If he truly cares about this child then he should fight this tooth and nail.

    vnw1405

    Answer by vnw1405 at 6:55 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Florida is a pretty adoption friendly. We adopted from Florida. The mother's rights were terminated at consents at 48 hours and were irrevocable. Then the courts have session 30 days later to make termination of rights permament. At this hearing, the birthparents could have argued coercion or duress but the only had 30 days to do this.
    I would be surprise if the one year is right unless they child is Native American. Call an attorney!!
    luckyshamrock

    Answer by luckyshamrock at 7:48 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Yes get a lawyer...are you saying that he legally adopted her..and has been her father for 8 years..
    If so she will lose in court, he is her father.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 11:46 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I agree that its doubtful she can do that unless she can prove its in the child's best interest. Doubtful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • If the judge hand't said there was a year to change their minds I would have to say she had no chance. But this was not the finalized adoption if he put that on the record anywhere.

    However, non traditional parents have been winning cases since 2006. In fact, in Alabama a stepparent won custody over a biological parent! So his relation is definately LEGALLY closer than "step" at this point.

    Although they may overturn the adoption I do not see them denying the man vistiation rights at BARE MINIMUM. However, with a GOOD lawyer it may not even come to that.
    Praying

    Answer by Praying at 12:16 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • That's a horrible thing to do to a child! So if I understand, the biological father signed away his rights and this is a Step Parent adoption. The adoptive parents are now in divorce proceedings and the adoptive mother is threatening to dissolve the adoption? In the eyes of the law, it does not matter now that she is the bio-mother and he is the step-father. They are now legally both the parents of this child. If the dad wants to raise the child he has equal rights to do so the fact that he is not the bio-dad is not the issue. She cannot undo-the adoption but she CAN fight for sole custody in the divorce..
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 2:26 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Ok I'm a bit confused by the way you posted this and I think a lot of the others didn't understand either. The adoption went through in July 2008, then how has he been her adoptive father for 8 years? And the child that he adopted, is his soon to be ex-wife's child? And she's the one wanted to reverse the adoption? If that is correct, he needs to get a lawyer and quickly, but it is pretty obvious she's doing it out of vindicitvness, and the judge will more than likely recognize that.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 5:48 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • No she said he raise her for 8 yrs. But the adoption went thru last year. So this is a touchy one see an attorney
    brandysuesmom

    Answer by brandysuesmom at 9:09 PM on Feb. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.