Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Dealing with a passive aggressive spoiley

I have a friend who has somewhat wealthy parents. This friend is also something of a hipster. For some reason, she complains about her bills, pretending not to know that he father will pay for anything she needs.. her home, busines, car, lawyers, bills, clothes, pricey appliances.....anything. the really frustrating part is that she pretends to be struggling in the same ways that i am. Then she finds some out of the blue way to bring up that her father took care of whatever the issue might have been. She usually follows that with a passively snarky comment about how things will get better for me or whoever. I question my feelings. Am i being jealous and petty or is this something i should mention to her. If it is something to bring up , how would i even go about naming the offense?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Aug. 17, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • There are 2 sides to every story. Having not heard hers, it's hard to judge. But, it's probably a bit of both.

    Answer by 3libras at 11:18 PM on Aug. 17, 2012

  • Well she has her dad and you have you resourcefulness and self respect.
    She may be a bit jealous of you and feel the need to let you know that her daddy will always pick her up. BTW It is a rude awakening when the safety net dies or quits enabling.
    So not knowing everything, I say if you like her, over look this and be happy wth what ou are gaining in your own struggles. If not, then her friendship will fall by the wayside eventually.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:27 PM on Aug. 17, 2012

  • I think Dardenella nailed it.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:08 AM on Aug. 18, 2012

  • I would quit talking about my finances completely. Seriously she only knows your struggles because you tell her so stop.

    Answer by meooma at 9:42 AM on Aug. 18, 2012

  • There are books on how to deal with passive-aggressives. I'd be reading one if I wanted to keep the friendship and not go nuts

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:35 PM on Aug. 18, 2012

  • I don't really go onand onabout my struggles. Our lives are quite intertwined as she is my boss and knows how much money i see a week. We have been close friends for years. Our kids are friends. She has been doing this for some time, but only over the last year have i been able to put my finger on the oddness. I was pricing a new(er) car a few weeks back. She suggested we go together as shehad been wanting a bigger car to haul her kids in. She insisted on driving and only stopped to look at brand new luxury cars. I told her i was looking for something a bit more affordable. She agreed and we went to look at some nice used cars. A week later she showed me her new lincoln navigator. Then said" dad bought this yesterday". I told her it was nice and i was excited for her. She pats me on the shoulder and says" don''t worry.... i am sure you will find something in your price range soon." This is the kind of thing i'm talking about.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:03 PM on Aug. 18, 2012

  • I wouldn't feel comfortable around this "friend"... What makes you two close friends?

    Answer by MamaaSutra at 11:18 PM on Aug. 18, 2012

  • I'd be looking for another job... FAST. Because if she can't manage her own life what the hell makes her qualified to run a business?

    I would say nothing to her AT ALL. I'd find a new job and then disengage.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:27 AM on Aug. 19, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.