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I need help on moving on after my divorce

My ex has custody of 16year old and she will not have visitation with me. He feels that he does not have to force her! We agreed to reconciliation counseling for my daughter and myself, first he agrees then when appointment is made he tells her she doesnt have to go if she doesnt want to? What should I do? I still feel sometimes that I love my ex and want to be with him, but I have a new boyfriend who treats me like a princess. Why do I have feelings of wanting to be back in that marriage. I was married for 21 years and have three beautiful daughters ages 22, 18, and 16. At first my ex turned all the girls against me, but slowly the two older girls figured things out and we have a great relationship now. Any good advice?

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Asked by Idahoflymom at 1:41 AM on Feb. 5, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (2)
  • You know I didn't know the full extent of my parents divorce for years. Not until one of my sisters explained my Moms side of the story did I see the whole picture. Maybe have one of your other daughters talk to your youngest and incourage her to keep the appointments. As for wanting him back, well you were together a long time and you may miss some parts of the relationship. I think it may be a part of the grieving process for you. It will get better just keep in touch with your daughters.

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:13 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I'm not saying that he is not wrong, but I kind of have to agree that he shouldn't force her. Not b/c I agree with him, per se, but b/c I am looking at as if I am forced to do something or be with someone, I would really resent that activity or that person. Meaning, if he forces her to see you or go to counseling, she could resent you for it. That won't help your relationship with her at all. I agree with pnwmom to see if one of your older daughters will talk to her and try to get her to come around. Regardless, keep in contact, keep the lines of communication open. One day she will wake up and realize you're not a bad person, and want a relationship with you. As for the still thinking you love him and want to be with him, I'd say that's normal. 21 yrs is a very long time, that's a big thing to adjust to having lost. Give it time.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:15 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

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