How do I deal with a 16 year old Vindictive Step son?

If he has already destroyed your marriage you need to move on.

Sixteen is a tough age even when they live with both of their parents. Does your stepson actually live with you?

Kids that age tend to think they know everything. They think they are adults, and yet their brains are still developing and no matter how mature or immature they don't have the life experience to actually be adults.

The only way you and your husband can salvage this is to be united in the way you handle the situation.

I highly recommend counseling as a family. Bottom line, you two need to be on the same page, and in charge.

Sixteen is a really rough age. Just breathe and realize that eventually he'll be out of the house too.

It can be hard to parent teenagers even if they are both biologically yours. It does make it harder in some ways when there is a blended family. I agree that you and your DH need to come to an agreement on the boundaries for his behavior and the consequences if he doesn't comply, and then just be consistent. Discipline without anger, getting angry over his behavior is counterproductive. Just issue the consequences without fighting with him or each other.

You have been with the child since he was 3 and he is this angry toward you? Did it just begin? Have you asked the boy what his problem is? I'd be having a family meeting and finding out what's up

I suggest counseling as well, I hope it works out, an angry boy most likely turns into an angry man, Please for the sake of him and your marriage seek some help.

At this age, 1) he's going through the teen revolution plus 2) he'll soon go to college. Hmmmm, how about if you had a baby with your husband? If this is feasible, it would bond you with your man....

Since you know he is doing it on purpose, you and your DH have to ignore him. He's 16, what does he know about anything, how can/does he manage to get you and DH fighting. You and DH are a team.