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3 Bumps

How to end a bad friendship

I have been friends with a toxic woman for almost 7years. I have spent the last year or so trying to end our friendship. She is always negative. She complains constantly. She is always asking someone for money. Has a sob story ready in her pocket... half the time it's b.s.
The only reason i have remained friends with her is because i am worried about her vindictive nature. She has told me about things she has done to people who have pissed her off. Messing with their cars, stealing things from their front porch. All stupid stuff. She is a bully and i am nervous about crossing her. I tried to kind of fade away, but she shows up at my house after too long. Any ideas?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:58 PM on Aug. 18, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • That's a truly destructive friendship, that will eventually drain all your energy. Hey, why don't you try to gradually end it? Find out what she things is boring, and do it constantly. Don't share any private info that she can use against you, just become dull, nagging, boring... Be all the things that will keep her away... By the way, just in case she does anything crazy, have you got any emails or texts from her, talking about what she's done to her "victims"? ;)
    MamaaSutra

    Answer by MamaaSutra at 11:02 PM on Aug. 18, 2012

  • Be unavailable. And if you have to, restraining order.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:22 AM on Aug. 19, 2012

  • She may just say those things so you will not dump her. I am with the others be unavailable. If she calls don't answer or answer and then tell her there is someone at the door or you were just leaving or you are really sick and cut the conversation off. If she comes to the door start coughing in her direction and tell her how contageous you are.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:27 AM on Aug. 19, 2012

  • Either make sure the door is locked and do nt answer it. Or just tell her. We are no longer friends. do not come over any more.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:16 PM on Aug. 19, 2012

  • You have two choices, keep fading away but more aggressively or tell her you feel you've grown apart and if she fights you on it, just say I'm sorry but I wish you a happy future. Or something like that. Then prepare for her backlash. Keep any evidence, park the car in the garage, take everything off the porch, make it less possible for her to be a pain in the butt and then call the police if you have to. If she threatens you, tell her she's an idiot because she's already confessed prior bad behavior to you. This is a tough spot but find a way to have the courage because it's unhealthy. You may endure a lot of grief the first month but it's better than another 7 years.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 3:39 PM on Aug. 19, 2012

  • Old school saying: "You have to ease your hand out of the lion's mouth." Just slowly back up, be unavailable for email, texts, phone calls, lunches, etc. And if you get "caught" just always be busy "I gotta go." I gotta run." "I'm late." Do not give your power away to anyone, especially an energy vampire. IF she decides to be stupid, you call always call our friends at the police department! Best wishes.
    jdjamm

    Answer by jdjamm at 11:55 AM on Aug. 20, 2012

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