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3 Bumps

Is there a way to make her like me ?

Before we met, my husband was totally dedicated to his mother and siblings, to an unbelievable extend. He married me at a mature age, and only told his mom about me AFTER our wedding. This made her furious and resentful of me.
During all these years I could not make her like me, and could not stop her verbal daggers. I love my husband, but his mother and siblings have always been his first priority. I am tired of spending family holidays either alone or neglected and verbally abused.
He always thinks I'm wrong and she's right. She attacks me, and he says he didn't hear a word.

What should I do? He doesn't agree with councelling - he thinks his family is PERFECT, and I'm always wrong.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Aug. 19, 2012 in Pregnancy

Answers (5)
  • You join this group and tell them what you just said. They have tons of experience with toxic in laws and weak husbands.


    See, what you have is a mamma's boy and he is your real problem, it's not your MIL.  You can't make her like you, but your first priority is to make your DuH understand that YOU and your family are his first priority.  If he doesn't want to do that, then this is what your future looks like.  But like I said, follow the link and join the group.  They will tell you what to do and what NOT to do, they've been through it all before.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:19 AM on Aug. 19, 2012

  • No. There is no way on Earth to make her like you. But SHE is not your problem.

    Your HUSBAND is the problem. He is supposed to put you FIRST. The fact that he hid your marriage and puts others first... MARRIAGE COUNSELING NOW. Go yourself even if he won't go. Because it will give you the spine to either insist on changing the situation and put the other women in their place ... BEHIND YOU... or to WALK.

    He is 100% wrong... to the point where he should not be allowed to reproduce in order to prevent his stupidity from spreading.

    If I were in your shoes I'd be GONE... even if it meant living on the street. THAT is how bad your situation is; the street would be better.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:20 AM on Aug. 19, 2012

  • His mother is just way too overprotective. At the end of the day u are married to ur husband not his mother. He needs to learn how to defend you a little more and let his mother know she can't disrespect his wife! If he does this atleast u know he has ur back and u should care less what she has to say. But if he's keeping quiet about what she saying/doing u need to let him know ASAP that it's wrong and she needs to respect ur position and deal with it!
    Oliver87

    Answer by Oliver87 at 1:39 PM on Aug. 19, 2012

  • No question that is a problem. Typical though. Do you have kids? It took having kids for my husband to learn to put his new family first and after several years, he began to see the bullshit that his family doled out. Now he can hardly stand them too.

    If I were you, I'd say screw it. You didn't sign up to be verbally assaulted by these people. Quit going to holidays until they plan to treat you with respect. You don't gain respect by continuing to be a punching bag. I'd air it all out, tell your dh and them you're done with their crap. Eventually, dh will have to make a choice. Hopefully he'll choose you.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 3:27 PM on Aug. 19, 2012

  • You cannot make anyone like you. Stop giving them the opportunity to throw daggers; quit being around them. Hubs has to choose between you and his mommy.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 3:38 PM on Aug. 19, 2012

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