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Porn and a 15 year old boy? Your views and suggestions?

A few months ago I caught my 15 year old son viewing porn and downloading it. I took all internet acess away. While at his dads he downloaded it to a flash drive and loading up to his computer. I have taken ALL computer acess away. He has a counseler and I spoke with him about it earlier in the week and he has not worked with him on this because my son dosent want to talk about it. So Im going to change counselers. Has anyone delt with this before if so what did you do that was effective? Anyone have any suggestions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:01 AM on Feb. 5, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (18)
  • Back in the days before computers, boys used to nab there dads playboy and spent alot time in there rooms. Is this just a boy with raging hormones or do you really think its some kind of obsession? I agree that downloading porn on the computer is not a good idea. Any counselor is not going to force topics on there patients. Therapy doesnt work like that. It could take months and months before subjects are even broached. If you son has a good relationship with the therapist I wouldnt change just yet. Are you sure this is a problem with your son, or is it a problem with you?
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:35 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • the counselor can not force the conversation. it would be a waste of your time if you decide to switch the counselor he knows for one he does not have a relationship already with. If you disagree with your child viewing pornography in your home, place the computer in a high traffic area in the home and monitor his usage. Go over the rules when using the internet and the computer and what expectations you have for him. I bet he is extremely embarrassed that he got caught with the goods, hopefully that would make him second guess what he does on your home computer. You can also get software on your computer that can allow you to view whatever he does online and on the computer, if you can't trust him, you have every reason to monitor him.
    BoobooHealer

    Answer by BoobooHealer at 8:39 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • At 15 its actually normal and I dont see how a counselor can help. In 3 short years he will be a grown man and able to look at porn anytime he wants to. My sons are 15 and 16 and I have caught them doing it. I told them I didnt want that crap on MY computer and they were not allowed to download it. I know they are going to look at porn because they are coming into their sexuality and finding their sexual identity. As a psych major I know this is normal because I just studied it. You shouldnt force him to talk about it. Hes embaressed enough I am sure. I would set rules and guidelines. For instance I told my sons if theyre curious they can talk to their dad about sex things. If they want to lookI will buy them magazines but they arent going to do it behind my back. Again this is perfectly natural. Just set some ground rules.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:43 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • There should be no need to have a counselorit's normal 15year old by activity. Yes they watch porn on the Internet but you should warn him not to download it just in case. But it must be so embarrassing for him to have to go to a counselor, maybe that was a bad idea.

    Mummytomore

    Answer by Mummytomore at 8:55 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • You can put a block on the computer. netnanny & windows comes with parental guards. At 15, porn is normal curiosity. I wouldn't worry unless it is violent or unnatural acts. If you want to open the conversation, hand him a playboy.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 9:05 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • There is NOTHING wrong with a 15 year old looking at porn. Yes, you want him to stay little forever but the way I see it is it's better for him to be watching porn than to be out having sex. At his age, I had already been having sex for a year and so had most of the poeple I knew in high school. You should be proud of him. Let him find his sexuality through porn rather than expirimentation. ANY counselor isn't going to do anything for him on this subject. They can't force conversation and councelors have studied mental and behavioral health and know this is perfectly normal.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I agree with the other moms it is totally normal for a 15 year old boy to be interested in porn, my brothers got in trouble multiple times for having magazines hidden in their rooms and every time my dad would throw them out they would just buy more. My son is almost 16 and has his own laptop, so instead of trying to forbid it I have told him if he gets a virus that needs professional computer help I am NOT paying for it. I even joke with him that he can get an STD on his computer from those sites.
    Also I have talked to him about how porn is staged and most of it is NOT like real sex, much like horror movies are not like real violent crimes.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 12:15 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • My son is 14 and done the same as yours. I found out when my computer was corrupted and looked in the history and 'woaw!'. I took away his access also and had a long talk to him about it, explaining that in the good ole days it was magazines like Playboy but now with the internet things can get dangerous and he may fall down 'a rabbit hole' of depravity his young mind isn't ready for. Anyway, I'm not too concerned as it's very common amongst boys of this age (I've four older brothers!!), and they'll still be able to see stuff at their friend's house. In a way it's good as it allows you to discuss sex. My son does get embarrassed but less so now as it's out in the open. One thing I did notice is the stuff their looking at is aimed at teens. There are a lot of teenage girls out there who love to expose themselves online. I'd be more worried if I was their parent. Thankfully I have a son!
    mcminimee

    Answer by mcminimee at 1:34 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Normal doesnt make it right.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:56 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • okay, maybe not normal...natural....ask some men their opinion....I've asked many.
    mcminimee

    Answer by mcminimee at 2:03 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

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