Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why did I requset cousiling for the two of them?

My dh & I have been married 5 years. He has full custody of his now 6 year old daughter. Her mother is nothing more than a weekend disney mom. She has no rules & allows her daughter to tell her what to do & how things are going to work. She is only with her everyother weekend so the reprograming process isn't to bad. My dh doesn't talk to bio-mom at all, only when he has to I encouraged him to requesting parenting cousling through the courts for the two of them. I thought it would make things easier for my step daughter. So far alls it's done is drive a wedge between me & my husband and gave bio-mom the oppertunity to tell my husband how much she still is in love with him & how the life he is living should have been with her. No matter what bio-mom does my dh defends her, she can do no wrong. Have I made a huge mistake? I don't know what to do or haw to react any more.

Answer Question
 
balladawna

Asked by balladawna at 9:12 AM on Feb. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Wow!! Start going to counseling with them....
    love_my_boys

    Answer by love_my_boys at 9:18 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I don't think that you made a mistake. You did something that sounds like it is in the best interest of your child and husband. It is your husband who is handling it the wrong way. There is no reason that he needs to defend her, unless you are being unnecessarily rude or talking negatively about her in front of your stepdaughter. It sounds like your husband is the one who has some growing up to do, and some decisions to make. There needs to be a happy medium between disliking his Ex so much that he won't talk to her, and leaping to her every defense. Maybe you could request to sit in on a counseling session with them? Or have a sit down with both of them face to face so you can all be on the same page, you have to help parent this child as well.
    Best of luck to you, I hope it all works out. But, in my opinion, you are not the one who made any mistakes in this situation.
    NewMommyin06

    Answer by NewMommyin06 at 9:22 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • EEK! Wow, thats terrible. I agree with first post. You are a part of this childs life more than her, so I would begin going with them. Not only so you can all work together to help the child, but maybe then she won't be so foward about her feelings.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:30 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • The only thing I can suggest is maybe you and hubby should go to couseling yourselves, and that you should be going with him to these other meetings. This way you and hubby can go back to being on the same page. Good luck.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:07 AM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I talked to my dh last night about how I was feeling & we seem to have aired things out & even put some actions in motion. I already tried going to couslining with them & the counsiler said it was not a good idea at this time and anyway the bio-mom said if I came she would not. Thanks for all your help & advise it gave me the courage to talk openly with my husband about how I was feeling.
    balladawna

    Answer by balladawna at 9:53 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN