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What can I do to get our love life back on track?

This is the second marriage for both of us. Three years have passed and our sex life has gone stale. I've a child from my first marrage. My husband has none. We each have different views of parenting - he's very strict, I'm not. When I pushed him he said my parenting skills have made him lose respect for me and he doesn't want to me intimate with someone he has no respect for. Yet we both love each other very much. Anyone out there got advice?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Feb. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Sound serious to me. My suggestions is someone you can talk to about both your opposing parenting viewpoints...and the effect it is having on your relationship.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:30 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • couples counseling can help you sort out the differences in your parenting styles and get to the issues that are causing the problems with your sex life. Be happy your hubby has feelings about it.. its more than most guys who just want sex to have sex.. sounds like a great guy!

    Answer by kristal2146 at 12:36 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • talk about how to compromise on parenting skills, that's what marriage is about after all. Open communication is always the best thing to help a marriage. If you don't want direct counseling, try other ways to work through things yourself... see if he'll do "The love dare" book with you or such... you can always try to spice up the sex life yourself too... is he going to turn down a massage or foreplay if you start it? If so, IMO I'd worry about there being someone else... (sorry to be the one to say it)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • He says there's no one else. I believe him. He just has very specific ways of childrearing. We've watched parenting vidoes which have helped somewhat but he doesn't think I'm giving my child the 'right tools to grow up to be a hardworking, respectful human being'. My husband was brought up in a very strict religious family with rigid rules. He was a virgin until he was 22. He says he'll try to not let things get to him and work on it but that his ideals and views are 'hard wired' into his psych. He also says it may take a long time to improve and most likely get better once my son moves out (he's 14). He's happy to try counselling but doesn't think most therapists are any good, that we'd have to find a really amazing one who he thinks can teach him/he'll learn something new from (my husband is super smart). I believe my son is very typical, normal kid. Am I wrong?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I agree you need to go to some kind of marriage counseling.

    Answer by LND at 1:20 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • What do I do in the meantime? Another thing to mention, as I get closer to 40 I'm becoming more sexual than ever (WTF?) so it is very frustrating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

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