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ok i know this isnt a pregnancy question but my fiance blames it on my pregnancy hormones so i decided to post it here to see if anyone thinks im over reacting-

ok so my fiances has 2 children from a previous relationship a boy who is 18 and a girl who is 13- the boy stays with my fiances mom (who lives upstairs- we live in a 2 fam house where she is on the second floor and were on the first floor) anyways- his son comes downstairs to hang out all the time but i feel that he shouldnt be allowed in our bedroom- out of all the places in the house thats the only one that i have to myself and if i wanna lay my underwears and bras around or if i want to be by myself my bedroom should be the place for me to do that right? but my fiance says that im just being mesn and that hes not gonna tell his kids to stay out of our room- that he doesnt want them to feel uncomfortable in this house and im like so i should feel uncomfortable in my own bedroom? so this is putting alot of strain on our relationship (this among lots of other issues with them) and to top it off i feel like im- - continued-

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lovelyli217

Asked by lovelyli217 at 12:27 PM on Feb. 5, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 12 (759 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • like im being ganged up on cause my fiances mother is always taking his side when it comes to the older kids cause she thinks i dont like them- which isnt true i just dont like certain things they do especially since the boy snapped at me a few times and threatened to hurt me- but anyways wut do i do- how do i keep peace in my house and be able to get my privacy back? am i really over reacting or is he just being an ass?
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 12:29 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Well, the question really would be...are you planning on keeping all kids not just stepkids out of your room? It sounds to an outsider that you haven't welcomed him into your marraige.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • no i have welcomed them- weve been together for 5 yrs come march but the boy just moved in like a yr ago but i do plan on keeping everyone out of my room ecept my youngest who still co sleeps with us
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 12:31 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I mean, what is he even doing in there? What's the need? I don't see a problem w/ you requesting he not go in there. That's JMO though.
    Janette81

    Answer by Janette81 at 12:33 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Well I think you def need to set some rules like no one enters my room with out a good knock and you saying come in. Explain to the kids why." You are in your underrware ect." It also sounds like for your own sake maybe you guys should look for your own place. Or if he doesnt want to leave his mom maybe two condo's next to each other. Then you have your place and the kids know the difference between your house and hers. It also sounds like maybe you all need to talk to someone that can help the kids sound like they have some issues built up. Best of luck to you and yours. Stay strong.
    Tris_09

    Answer by Tris_09 at 12:38 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I feel the same way with my ss who is just comes in my room sometime without knocking. I mean my bed is the the place where I can go to be by myself. I cant even be naked in my bedroom without worrying ss would walk in at any given second. His dad has told him that he cant just walk in our bedroom like that. We have stuff in there like underwears and stuff laying around. SS still doesnt listen. So, Imma have to talk to him myself. My bed is off limits. That is the only room I can have my little privatecy. It is not about being mean. It is about what is exceptable and what is not. My son is only an infant it is not a problem but when my son is at the age of 12, I wouldnt feel comfortable with him coming in my bedroom without knocking either.
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 12:44 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I'm in my second marriage and I have a teenage son from my previous relationship. My new husband has no kids. As a rule my son is not allowed in our room. He can come in as long as he knocks first and we invite him in. We treat his room/privacy the same way. You're not being unreasonable. Maybe try to compromise and suggest a similar rule? It's polite to respect someone's privacy. You wouldn't want your step son to walk in when you've just stepped out of the shower and vice versa. I hope this helps.
    mcminimee

    Answer by mcminimee at 12:53 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I have friends who keep their own children out of their bedroom... I dont see anything wrong with wanting to keep your bedroom private. Unfortunally your fiance will only realize what you are talking about when he sees your keeping your own child out.
    And NO it is not nice that the boy said he was going to hurt you! that is horrible.
    Paty_hotmommy

    Answer by Paty_hotmommy at 1:02 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • thank u im so glad that im not the only one who feels this way- and yes that has happened already where i will be in pjs ready for bed (pjs meaning skimpy top and panties) and hell walk in and it will be like 10 30 at night! and instead of just leaving he stands there still asking me oh wheres my dad? and ill be like get out im not dressed and hell be like but wheres my dad like i didnt even say anything
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 1:29 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Sounds like he's trying to peek at you. If I walked in on my stepmom in her panties I would be like OH GOD SORRY BYE. Not just stand there and keep talking.
    That sounds very strange to me!
    I think you have every right to not want teenage boys in your bedroom when you're in your undies!
    BambiF

    Answer by BambiF at 2:50 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

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