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2 Bumps

Would you act like this if this was your 17 year old son?*kind of long*

i posted the story in the confessions group, but im just going to cut it short here since i have a limit and i want to ask this in the appropriate place

when my brother was 17 and a junior in high school, a new girl came to his school she was 18 and a senior,my brother started getting feelings for her. a month goes by and shes only hanging out with my brother and the club he was in, and the guys in the new girls class didnt like it so they started stalking her taking pictures of every little thing she did, they did this for a couple weeks.

one day at lunch while my brother and the girl were in the club the guys come in and grab her and pull her into the quad. they start pulling picture after picture out of her, her life ,where she shopped, where she lived, her secret fiance and her secret child that no one in the school knew about, started spouting off that her fiance was abusive but she wouldnt leave him, and the thing they pulled out last before my brother stepped in was a picture of an ultrasound, with the girls name on it, she was 9 weeks pregnant while on an IUD. my brother took her out of the situation and grabbed one of the bags with the pictures as he left and ditched school with her.

none of my family including me knew what had happened until my brother comes walking in the door with a bunch of baby toys and the girl walking behind him with her son, my parents were furious and tried pushing her back out of the door. my brother told them that she was staying until he got an apartment and moved out, my brother explained everything when she was settled in.

when she was 16 weeks my brother found an apartment and they moved out, my parents trying to break them up at every second, calling her a slut, saying shes cheating on him and stuff like that. well 3 weeks ago she had her baby girl, my brother held her hand the whole way, and i sat in the waiting room waiting for the baby and my parents, the baby came our parents never did, which i kind of understand. so 3 weeks have gone by and our parents are still trying to break them up. my brother and soon to be sil came over yesterday and told us they set the date for their wedding and showed us the dress and everything, my parents wouldnt talk to her and tried to throw the wedding book away. i could tell that my sil's heart was breaking again just like when she came and stayed at the house that first day.

so would you act like my parents if your 17(now 18) year old son did what my brother did?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Aug. 23, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Answers (14)
  • I can understand them being a bit skeptical of the situation, but your brother did an amazing thing for her. Her life has changed in a drastic way because of him, he sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders. Clearly he loves her, so I think your parents are either going to have to accept it, or they might lose him for good. I would proud that my son stepped up as a man.
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 12:47 AM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • It really depends on the girl. If she is a normal looking girl (as in: not on drugs, not dressed like a hooker, etc.) then I would applaud my son. That boy is more of a man than any man I have personally ever met, including my own husband (whom I love and adore, though he would not care for another mans child).
    Mrs.J.

    Answer by Mrs.J. at 3:45 AM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • I think your brother doesn't need to talk to your parents anymore,, I would just let them come to him, they need to steer clear from your parents.. the one part I am confused over is the baby your brother's? Where did the other child come from, and where did the girl live before she moved in with your brother,, not that it makes that much difference,, just curious.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 6:08 AM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • i think he is doing an amazing thing taking over for another mans child and helping her out. it sounds like he really loves her, i hope that your parents come around because it sounds like they are going to lose their relationship with their son if they have not already.
    MooNFaeRie30

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:24 AM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • While he's doing a really good thing for her, I can see where your parents are coming from. He was 17 years old, and taking on the responsibility of 2 children that aren't his. I have 2 sons, and it would really bother me if one of them did that. It's a sweet, kind, wonderful thing - but at 17, I would be afraid that he's making an impulsive decision that he'd come to regret down the road, and then not only would he be unhappy, but so would she, and the children would be confused and upset as well.

    With that said, I don't know that I'd go about it the way your parents are, but I would certainly try to talk my 17 yr old son out of doing it. While I would feel bad for her and her child(ren), my child is my priority. I would try to find other ways to help her out. Ultimately, though, if it was what my son really wanted, I guess in the end, I'd have no choice but to accept it.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:51 AM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • I think your brother is more of an adult than your parents are. Tell them from a grandmas point of view here- Its hard as hell to see OUR children become adults and have children at a young age but HOW WE handle it determines alot about how they thrive as well. They have 2 grandchildren now they need to SUCK IT UP and enjoy WHY the word grandparent exists and damnit they need to be GRAND!!!!! TO ALL OF THEM
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 9:47 AM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • I can't say, but I can say that I would have tried to stop the at the first moment I knew about here and her background.
    She has a child and a fiance (Whether it is the fiance's or not I have no way of knowing) She lied from the get go about having the fiance and cheated on him. That right there is not a promising mate for my child.
    Then she is pregnant. There is no way to know if the child is his (she was till with her fiance)
    Yup I am sure I would be royally pissed that my child's future is put in the dumpster by a lying cheating girl.

    I would also feel some compassion for her. BTW where are her parents?

    I think I would still be counseling for DNA testing and not getting married but finishing school.
    If my son was dead set on it it I would try to accept his decision.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 9:48 AM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • @dardenella she didnt cheat on her fiance, my brother took her away from him but they didnt start dating until after she had left her ex, and both babies are her ex's, my brother and her never did anything but be friends until after the ex was out of the picture.
    we dont know where her parents are but im guessing the ex took her away from them when she turned 18 and thats probably why she was at the school
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:58 AM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • I would never, under any circumstances act like your parents. Horrible & appalling behavior. The boys at that school were horrible. Also how would they know she had an IUD and was pregnant. This whole story is just horrible. I would not want my child to get involved in that kind of situation. However, that said I would never treat anyone much less my child they your parents treated your brother.

    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 12:01 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • I don't really know - 2 babies by 2 different fathers and not yet out of high school? Not so sure she sounds like a girl I would want my son involved with.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 4:09 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

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