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Do you think its possible to fall out of love with someone?

My DH and I have been together for 9 years, married for 4 years. I am just conflicted because I love him as a person but no as my husband. I am not sure if that makes sense or not but that is how I feel. My husband loves me more than anything and would do anything for me, yet I dont feel the same. I dont want to hurt him by leaving but I dont want to hurt him more by staying. Is it really possible to fall out of love?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Feb. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • yes people grow apart sometimes as they grow up it does happen.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I was with my first husband for the same amount of time and also feel out of love. I think I was too young (21) when we married and we just grew in different directions. This maybe what you're going through? Though I have heard from other couples that they fell back in love so maybe you just need time. If you want to stay with him you'll make it work. It's hard work I agree. Do you have kids?

    Answer by mcminimee at 1:56 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • well your vows should mean something and if this possible then the truth would be that anyone your with you'd fall out of love with. so why ever marry. marriage means to stay thick or thin but if you wish to leave then do so. you'll just be breaking your marriage vow and your poor dh heart. if you can live with that then do so. i only fell out of love cause my ex hurt me to much to get past the resentment and i truly never loved him as i do my new husband.i thought i loved my ex but i never did. he was sick i was sick together we were sick and i was with him since i was like 15. so at 15 you don't know what true love is. it certainly was true with me that teens don't really know how to recognize what love really entails.

    Answer by melody77 at 2:02 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • OP HERE_______We got married at 20 and we have two kids

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Yes. It can and DOES happen. And to melody -- you don't know anyone's situation! The man I married 7 years ago is not the same person he once was. You have no idea, so don't judge.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Depends what you think the word LOVE is..
    If your basing love as a feeling , of course. How we feel can change through time.BUT..if you define love as an action , showing unconditional care and concern for someone..i think its possible to keep loving ...without being OUT of love persay..
    If your married, youve made a vow to love them and cherish them for as long as you live..So if your not acting out love, of course your "feelings" are going to reflect on what your actions are ..As a wife or a husband, its your responsablilty to make sure the other person knows and feels like you love them...what you get in return is feeling secure, and "loved" from them, and eventually a good strong marriage.. hope i make sense.. im about to get married and thats how i see it. if we base our marriage on a "feeling", than we should brace ourselves for an emotional rollercoaster right?..Hope this helps.. :)

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 2:35 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Marriage goes through different stages. It starts out in that lovey-dovey, honeymoon stage which is motivated by strong feelings for each other both emotionally and physically. As the years pass, the relationship should take on more of a deeper kind of relationship not so much motivated by feelings but by commitment & trust. Feelings come and go and are affected by many things, that's why we shouldn't live our lives by our feelings. But commitment is a consistent decision we make to each other to cling to each other, to remain with each other no matter what our feelings dictate because feelings are fickle. (for better or for worse) There's a security in honoring your vows, you grow closer and strengthen your relationship to a point where mere feelings can't come between you and cause you to want to end it just because they're not the same as yesterday.


    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 2:54 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Is there someone else?


    Answer by Wimsey at 2:55 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • i think it can happen, with my though I fall more in love with him as time goes by. We had a really hard first year and I thought we were over about 5 times. We worked threw it and came out stronger in the end. I don't know how you or your husbands life is so I can't really judge you either way. I think people grow and change with each passing year. And people change the most in there 20's. Before you just up and leave I would try counseling either by your self or family. 


    Answer by Ms.MarineWife at 2:58 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • OP HERE________Yes there is someone else I am some what interested in. I am so ashamed to even admit that :(

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

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