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I recently and unexpectedly found my adult son (who I placed up for adoption as an infant) on Facebook - should I contact him.

I want to my hand hovers over the send button. How do I approach it with out destroying any chance at reunion later... Particulars. This began as a private adoption before his birth it was supposed to have been open but at 2 years old the letters and photos just abruptly stopped. He knows he is adopted.

Answer Question

Asked by meanmayormary at 6:33 PM on Aug. 23, 2012 in Adoption

Level 6 (142 Credits)
Answers (35)
  • I'd message him and talk to him OFF the computer 1st

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:34 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • I would!!

    Answer by mompam at 6:35 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • I would privately message him and give him your contact information. Put the ball in his court if he wants to have contact.

    Good luck mama! Let us know what happens.

    Answer by ohwrite at 6:43 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • i know - i want to but how to do it without looking like a psycho... and without risking losing the chance of reunion later - he is only 20 now, still young

    Comment by meanmayormary (original poster) at 6:43 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • No. What if he doesn't know he is adopted? What if he unleashes on you? Let him live his life, he will contact you if he needs to.

    Answer by OenophiliaMama at 6:46 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • I'd wait until I had some sort of 'gameplan'.

    Answer by meooma at 6:50 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • I don't know if this is the best way to contact him. Are there adoption networks that you could subscribe to to see if he's interested in contacting you?

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:52 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • Wow, tricky one. I guess the answer would be, what if this were you? How would you want to find out?

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 6:56 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • do you know if his parents told him he was adopted? I would say look at the friend's list,, and message the mother first, if she is on there,, Can you imagine if he never knew?

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:40 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

  • He knows his father was dark french with an olive complexion which he inherited - his adoptive parents are both blue eyed blond hair -

    Comment by meanmayormary (original poster) at 8:12 PM on Aug. 23, 2012

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