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I recently and unexpectedly found my adult son (who I placed up for adoption as an infant) on Facebook - should I contact him.

I want to my hand hovers over the send button. How do I approach it with out destroying any chance at reunion later... Particulars. This began as a private adoption before his birth it was supposed to have been open but at 2 years old the letters and photos just abruptly stopped. He knows he is adopted.

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Asked by meanmayormary at 6:33 PM on Aug. 23, 2012 in Adoption

Level 6 (142 Credits)
Answers (35)
  • Not sure if I would do that

    Answer by escuchar at 12:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2014

  • how exciting! Did he message you back? I am curious what the message you sent said. Good luck! Do you all live close?

    Answer by txnmomof4 at 5:35 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • eh...i wouldn't, if he wants to contact YOU then let him make the first move, there may still be a lot of hurt and anger there with him, you never know

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 5:23 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • This touches my heart. My husband is adopted. He was adopted at 9 weeks, so he has never known his birth mother. He is now 42 yrs. old. I am so thankful for him and feel God saved him for me by allowing the adoptive parents to raise him. He is so special to me and his family.

    We are seriously considering adopting a child now. We have one boy, but have not been able to have another healthy pregnancy. I can see both sides of the adoptive process. I have cousins that are adopted and had several friends also while growing up who were.

    I serioulsy hope that you can connect with him. That is so precious and I know you ache to see him and get to know him. I do hope the best for you, mamma.

    Answer by Ruthmom802 at 5:18 PM on Dec. 18, 2012

  • I don't know. I don't think contacting him through facebook is the way to do it. If you know his parents write a letter to them with your contact information.

    Answer by booklover545 at 11:55 PM on Oct. 6, 2012

  • I would contemplate that and maybe contact the adoptive parents first. G L

    Answer by isismoon3 at 4:45 PM on Oct. 2, 2012

  • Oh my gosh, this kind of sounds like my family~ I had fbook account and found nephew{26} on fbook.Nephew was adopted thru my x-sil family in KS. I befriended him.Bros. divorce so messy and sad he gave up visitation rights not wanting his boy to go thru more pain.( age 5)We have been estranged from him due to the above reason.O.K. , you said his Mom and Father told him he was adopted?That kind of tows the line to move ahead I would say. Like some other Moms said, I would personal message him, make it brief,explain facts. Give him your contact #s.Let him know it is all his choice what he wishes to do with info.

    Wishing u tons of GL.! It will be harder than #!*&^## to wait .believe you me, I know. You do whatevever in your heart feels right.! If u want , feel free to PM me and it would be great to talk.

    Answer by momw2teens522 at 9:51 AM on Sep. 29, 2012

  • Yay, for you! This is awesome, and congrats:) SLOW is always best;)

    Answer by ceejay1_iz_back at 9:47 PM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • That is so awesome. Good for the two of you.

    Answer by sharpendoodle at 8:23 PM on Sep. 11, 2012

  • I would leave contact info, and let him decide if he wants to talk to you or not, no pressure......

    Answer by older at 7:19 PM on Sep. 11, 2012

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