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How to cope??? Husband actions....

Im 25 years old and just had my second baby two weeks ago. I have been married for almost 5 years and although circumstances with my husband were never the best I have put everything on my part for making it work... financially, mentally and in every aspect of our lives. A few months ago we decided to close our facebook accounts because we were always fighting because he wrote on a girls wall and never wanted to tell me what was it about, or who she was. I grab the computer and I see hes all over facebook from his company account seeing pictures of girls who live in our city, I turn to him and ask him if he keeps on doing that sh*t he likes to do I tell him he has no idea how much I regret marring him and I leave the room. After like 10 minutes he comes and tries to make conversation, I just say I dont want to hear a word about it and he goes out.... When he comes back hes acting like nothing has happened.. And Im so mad at him and myself because I dont do that, I know maybe I over react but I just ask for as much as I give him.... Im so tired of everything, why do we women have to deal with everything at home? And also work? He wanted another baby and there I am in the middle of the night taking care of her because he wont even wake up and my body looks like such a mess... Why is it us who struggle??? Who will ever want someone like me when is pretty obvious not even him, whom I have gave children wants me anymore.....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Aug. 24, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think you may be overreacting to this. He shouldn't have mislead you into thinking he had stopped doing something that he obviously is still doing. I don't, however, think that spells the end of your marriage or that it means he doesn't want you anymore. Your hormones are pretty unstable right now, so try not to read more into this than is there. And....this is how guys handle arguments. They give you time to get over it(so they think) and then for them it's over(so they think.) If you need to talk further about his being untruthful, pick you a time and do it. First off, you should apologize for having said you regret having married him. I don't think you meant that, and you should tell him so. Don't bring it up until you can be respectful and calm in your discussion. It might help you to write down your objections and why. Stick to that one topic and don't dredge up history. If you need help, ask for it nicely!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:06 PM on Aug. 24, 2012

  • glad you vented
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:07 PM on Aug. 24, 2012

  • You need to stop blocking him out and just TELL Him everything you told us. Also, you might want to talk to your doctor about PPD, not saying that is any reason why your dh is being an ASS but meds might help you deal a little better with everything because you do sound like you are overrun :( (((HUGS))) and good luck!
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 5:07 PM on Aug. 24, 2012

  • you told him you didnt want to talk about it, he was respecting your wishes
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 5:11 PM on Aug. 24, 2012

  • You are so unhappy in this relationship why do you stay?
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 5:19 PM on Aug. 24, 2012

  • Men ARE visual. You want to be the only one he looks at, thinks is sexy etc.- jealousy is not attractive. Men are simple but they need their woman to understand them. Do not take it personal. Pouting, punishing and trying to control this is not going to work. Just accept it is the way guys are. They like to look at women. I worked with men specifically for 20 years. They all do it, some just have to "hide" it because their women are insecure. Be glad he is your man and is with you. When you get feeling insecure, flirt with him, give him hugs and bring back the fun that you are capable of creating in a relationship. It is not that big of a deal if he talks or looks at women- he is with you. As for the rest, just talk to him. Open communication and love him. The woman sets the tone of the house and it sounds like you could use a bit of positive thinking. Hugs !!
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 5:23 PM on Aug. 24, 2012

  • Let him read everything you wrote.

    Then hand him a MOP. The sexiest man in the world cleans the house after he comes home from work.

    We women handle everything because we don't hold men up to the expectation to pitch in. Start expecting it... let him do it his way and DON'T go doing it yourself. If the house is messy it won't fall down. Leave it.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:10 AM on Aug. 25, 2012

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