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Who would like to share their STEP parenting story with me. I have a 15 year old step son that I can't stand to be around.

My relationship with my step son and daughter has crumbled. I am at a point where i don't even want to be home when he's home. I am told to just deal with it by my husband. I have some hurts and some resentments that I haven't dealt with and it is making me shut off communication.

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Corinna707

Asked by Corinna707 at 4:01 PM on Feb. 5, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • LOL. Share this with Step parenting group. They will be share to share a lot of stories with you.
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 4:02 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • My MIL had problems with her step son. He was living with her and my step FIL. He turned on her and became nasty and spiteful all the time. She eventually had to kick him out of the house. He was a grown man at the time though, not a 15 yo. She's always been good at tough love, and it worked well with her boys, but her step son was spoiled his whole life so it hasn't worked out as well. I guess my point is that different parenting styles can have the potential to clash pretty hard when it comes to step parenting. Especially when the kids are used to a certain kind of interaction from their parents. I'm sorry it has to be so hard. I wish you all the best!
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 4:04 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Ok not trying to sound like super bitch here, but you said yourself "I have some hurts and some resentments that I haven't dealt with and it is making me shut off communication." YOU need to be the adult and deal with your issues.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • My mom and my step sister had a horrible time when I was growing up. My mom and step dad almost got a divorce over it. But now you would never know. I'm not sure what changed, maybe my step sister just grew up and it was easier for her and my mom to be more like friends. Who knows. :)
    musikdoll

    Answer by musikdoll at 4:07 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Oh boy...........I came into my steps sons life when he was 18. Him and his dad were "batchin it". ONly thing is Step Son didnt work, slept till 4 in the afternoon and Dad gave him money. StepSon had a band and dad was pretty involved in it. Dad was going threw a second child hood lol. Then I came along..........and all hell broke loose lol Dad grew back up and things changed. He realized that son needed to get a job, that the band thing was costing a fortune. Oh my did my SS hate my guts lol. Then I got preg. and it really got bad. I finally told my husband I wasnt living walking on glass anymore. So we gave him a deadline. SS didnt speak to me for a year. HE is now 26, married has kids of his own and we get along great.

    Try to stick to your guns if you know you are right. Dont put up with any crap in YOUR house. Remember they will grow up and move on eventually. Good Luck!
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 4:07 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Since we know that you can't stand to be around him, imagine him feeling that you can't stand to be around him. First, a 15 year old is hard to deal with as a step or biological child. Its a hard phase for them to grow through. This is the time when they have attitudes from hell and think they know it all. I know this because I had 2. Have you ever actually sat down to talk to him and see whats going on his life or did you just say hey,i'm here ,deal with me.You didn't go into a lot of detail, so Its really hard to pinpoint your question and what you want to know. If your daughter isn't 15 yet, it will happen again. do you know why he resents you?
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:09 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • Who is the adult here? You're holding anger and resentment and punishing the child for it? You married into this situation and you need to deal with it. Unfortunately your actions affect this teenagers emotional well-being. I feel sorry for him and her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • You can really feel the resentment in this situation!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • well,i am in the same situation but my step daughter is 14 and is a liar and a theft.we have to lock up rooms so she can not take anythings.she has taken valuable items from myself along with my daughter.she is so stupid she lies she has the items and then they are handing out of her coat pocket.i have sat down numerous times to talk to her and give her her point of view,then she turns around and steals stuff from me or my daughter.i have had it,my daughter is going to press charges and that doesn't even phase the step daughter.the tension in the house is very stressful,her father is in denial,going to quit his job to moniter his daughter,and i highly do not think that is the answer.i think the step daughter needs to go away and deal with reality about stealing. i told her father over and over that if this does not stop in the house,when the stepdaughter does to the store for example she could steal and then it would be jail.
    mysticlady55

    Answer by mysticlady55 at 9:58 PM on Feb. 5, 2009

  • I'd deal with it. I'd leave. That's how I would deal with it. If hubby doesn't want to be King of his Castle and fix things then by golly I'd pack my crap and go. There is no reason to be treated poorly in your own home. That is your castle too. You are the queen of that realm and you don't want to be there when he's there. That's got to be fixed. I'd leave and not come back until pops grows some balls.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:49 AM on Feb. 6, 2009

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