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Why do women think every decision on parenting is their choice?

I'm mainly referring to circumcision here. I just read a blog post about how the mother was 'never going to circumcise my boys." And that she "showed him evidence as to why we shouldn't" referring to her husband. I'm sorry, but why is that only her decision? She states her husband wanted it done and that she, essentially, talked him out of it because she didn't want to do it to her sons.

Really?? With what little decisions dads get when regarding childbirth/newborns she couldn't let him have this one thing?? Why does she think she has the right to make that decision on her own?


Things like this make my blood boil.

Answer Question
 
SaraD1989

Asked by SaraD1989 at 11:54 PM on Aug. 25, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 18 (5,457 Credits)
Answers (56)
  • i think both parents should be involved . i can't stand mothers who think their way is always right and dd be damned, (then they wonder why dad won't help, well hell i wouldn't either).
    notjstasocermom

    Answer by notjstasocermom at 7:21 AM on Aug. 28, 2012

  • "Circumcision is a totally unnecessary procedure and, as such, shouldn't even be a choice."

    Well, the AAP disagrees with you. They actually say the medical benefits outweigh the risks. So it's a valid choice for parents to make and it should be discussed and decided by both parents

    Sharon
    momto2boys973

    Answer by momto2boys973 at 10:12 AM on Aug. 28, 2012

  • " They actually say the medical benefits outweigh the risks."

    That doesn't actually tell you very much. If it means that there's a reduction of less than one percent in the overall number of penile cancers when penile cancer is so rare than most urologists have never seen it then, yes, the medical benefit outweighs the risk of dying from it (circumcision). So how huge are these benefits?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Aug. 28, 2012

  • I had no idea people had such strong feelings either way. I have a daughter so this is not a decision I have to make. From what I understand it is cleaner, women get less infections, etc..... All seem like good reasons.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 12:14 PM on Aug. 28, 2012

  • Being against circumcision is not just some silly thing you can let go like other things, if you are against it usually you feel very very strongly against it, it is like mutilation. That's not something they can just give up on.
    CharSb2

    Answer by CharSb2 at 12:53 PM on Aug. 28, 2012

  • Any health risks to not being circumcised are not as serious as some may think, given that the US is the only country in the world that has routine circumcision of non Jewish/ non Muslim males. If all these risks and infections were real, you'd hear a lot more about it from Canada, Europe and Australia etc. they seem to be fine.
    CharSb2

    Answer by CharSb2 at 12:57 PM on Aug. 28, 2012

  • "yes, the medical benefit outweighs the risk of dying from it (circumcision). So how huge are these benefits?"

    LOL! Way to paraphrase. No, the benefits don't outweigh the risk of dying, the benefits outweight the risks- period. That includes the risk of bleeding, infection and other minor complications that can occur when performed improperly. It's not "benefits vs death", it's "benefits vs risks"- ALL risks.
    And it does tell you a lot. It tells you that considering purely medical factors, it's overall better to choose to circumcise.

    Sharon

    Sharon
    momto2boys973

    Answer by momto2boys973 at 7:27 PM on Aug. 28, 2012

  • If she actually talked him out of it, that means he eventually agreed with her decision. We all have the right to try to sway others to our point of view.

    In this case, where the parents do not agree and the child's immediate health and safety are not at stake, nothing should be done. In this case that would mean Mom "wins" by default. However, if the situation were reversed and Mom wanted it done but Dad didn't, I would still say that without agreement, you do not act.

    What WOULD be wrong is if mom went ahead and gave him a circumcision without dad's consent. (Or and earring, or any other type of permanent modification.)
    DDDaysh

    Answer by DDDaysh at 12:10 PM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • I did basically the same as OK. I researched, found out that in terms of safety, medical need, and future happiness, both sides of the fence are about even. At that point I figured since DS's dad was the one with a penis, he could decide since neither seemed to be overly dangerous and both had about equal chances desireable and undesireable outcomes. Having a penis wasn't something I could have personal empathy with, so it made more sense to let Dad make the choice.
    DDDaysh

    Answer by DDDaysh at 12:23 PM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • "In this case, where the parents do not agree and the child's immediate health and safety are not at stake, nothing should be done. In this case that would mean Mom "wins" by default"

    That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard. So if a parent wants to vaccinate and the other doesn't, does that mean the non-vaccinating parent wins by default? How about if one wants to send the kid to school and the other wants unschooling? Does the unschooling parent wins by default?

    Sharon
    momto2boys973

    Answer by momto2boys973 at 6:44 PM on Aug. 31, 2012

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