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Why do women think every decision on parenting is their choice?

I'm mainly referring to circumcision here. I just read a blog post about how the mother was 'never going to circumcise my boys." And that she "showed him evidence as to why we shouldn't" referring to her husband. I'm sorry, but why is that only her decision? She states her husband wanted it done and that she, essentially, talked him out of it because she didn't want to do it to her sons.

Really?? With what little decisions dads get when regarding childbirth/newborns she couldn't let him have this one thing?? Why does she think she has the right to make that decision on her own?


Things like this make my blood boil.

Answer Question
 
SaraD1989

Asked by SaraD1989 at 11:54 PM on Aug. 25, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 18 (5,457 Credits)
Answers (56)
  • I think that the conversations should happen before children come into the picture. After you're pregnant, you ought to know the stances of the person you are having a child with.

    In this case, I think she should win. It is something that the child can choose to do later, but it is not something that can be undone. The same way with vaccines and other things you can do later, but you can't undo once they're done.

    Ideally, parents would be on the same page and in agreement before they are having a baby.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 3:28 PM on Sep. 25, 2012

  • It came out of me, I make the decisions.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 6:48 PM on Sep. 24, 2012

  • Dude, mom's know. Don't question other mothers, manage your own life.
    OenophiliaMama

    Answer by OenophiliaMama at 10:57 PM on Sep. 3, 2012

  • You must be that mom I read in the blog Vanessa! Nice to meet you-you're an idiot.
    SaraD1989

    Comment by SaraD1989 (original poster) at 11:51 AM on Sep. 2, 2012

  • Another thing is this. OP, you see circumcision as a parenting choice. This woman obviously sees circumcision (mutilation) as child abuse, and possibly a human rights violation. You would do anything to protect your child from someone abusing him/her, right? That's all this mother is doing.
    VanessaCB

    Answer by VanessaCB at 12:34 AM on Sep. 2, 2012

  • Really? It makes your blood boil. The mom is only trying to protect her child from being mutilated. Genital mutilation should never be the choice of the parents. I will fight tooth and nail if anyone, including my DH, tries to take my child and have a healthy and functional part of his body chopped off.
    VanessaCB

    Answer by VanessaCB at 12:30 AM on Sep. 2, 2012

  • "In this case, where the parents do not agree and the child's immediate health and safety are not at stake, nothing should be done. In this case that would mean Mom "wins" by default"

    That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard. So if a parent wants to vaccinate and the other doesn't, does that mean the non-vaccinating parent wins by default? How about if one wants to send the kid to school and the other wants unschooling? Does the unschooling parent wins by default?

    Sharon
    momto2boys973

    Answer by momto2boys973 at 6:44 PM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • I did basically the same as OK. I researched, found out that in terms of safety, medical need, and future happiness, both sides of the fence are about even. At that point I figured since DS's dad was the one with a penis, he could decide since neither seemed to be overly dangerous and both had about equal chances desireable and undesireable outcomes. Having a penis wasn't something I could have personal empathy with, so it made more sense to let Dad make the choice.
    DDDaysh

    Answer by DDDaysh at 12:23 PM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • If she actually talked him out of it, that means he eventually agreed with her decision. We all have the right to try to sway others to our point of view.

    In this case, where the parents do not agree and the child's immediate health and safety are not at stake, nothing should be done. In this case that would mean Mom "wins" by default. However, if the situation were reversed and Mom wanted it done but Dad didn't, I would still say that without agreement, you do not act.

    What WOULD be wrong is if mom went ahead and gave him a circumcision without dad's consent. (Or and earring, or any other type of permanent modification.)
    DDDaysh

    Answer by DDDaysh at 12:10 PM on Aug. 31, 2012

  • "yes, the medical benefit outweighs the risk of dying from it (circumcision). So how huge are these benefits?"

    LOL! Way to paraphrase. No, the benefits don't outweigh the risk of dying, the benefits outweight the risks- period. That includes the risk of bleeding, infection and other minor complications that can occur when performed improperly. It's not "benefits vs death", it's "benefits vs risks"- ALL risks.
    And it does tell you a lot. It tells you that considering purely medical factors, it's overall better to choose to circumcise.

    Sharon

    Sharon
    momto2boys973

    Answer by momto2boys973 at 7:27 PM on Aug. 28, 2012

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